New representative requirements.

The new Novartis sales representative Employment requirements have just been posted to the H.R. Website.

The ideal candidate must have:

A GED or equivalent
Must be willing to participate in role playing, grinders ect..
Must be able to gather signatures and complete a sign-in sheet.
Must be able to set appts on a calendar at dr.s offices.

Previous experience as....One year as a UPS driver or Dominoes delivery driver is greatly encouraged.
Wait staff at a restaurant to accurately take food orders is a plus.

Please apply today.

 

ABL should read..previous experience as Grocery Store Assistant Manager or Assistant Manager at Red Lobster preferred.

 

Also must be able to consume large quantities of kool-aid on a frequent basis.

 

This is really funny--thanks for making my day

 

This confirms it, we are extending the PDI contract.

 

Be able to spew b-s like the fountains at the Bellagio.
Previous experience as a baby sitter or nanny preferred.
Should be able to read out loud power point slides from brand teams at meetings.

 

Does anyone really wonder why we provide little value to doctors, pharmacists,hospitals, etc.? We’re little more than talking billboards.

 

The original post is wrong. We actually would like to get promoted to a UPS driver. That way... people actually like to see us show up and we get to wear shorts. Only drawback is we have to actually work 8 hours per day.

 

You are so right. Work 8 hrs a day....never! He’ll, 4 is too much.

 

The Industry is completely broken. In what Industry does your manager tell you that your strong relationships are hurting your sales? In what Industry actually makes you lie day to day in your activities? In what Industry actually wants you to be confrontational w/ clients (ie PT)?

Pharma isn’t even any good for college grads anymore because all it does is create bad habits and what not to do in a real job.

 

Pure and simple ......Greed. Pharma knows the end of exorbitant profits is coming to an end. Once Medicare gets the green light to negotiate prices it’s over. Most sales are due to formularies, not reps. Pharma’s desperation is evident in the promotion of positive tension, pressure, whatever the current label. Pissing off your customer is always a great strategy. Doc, thanks for your years of loyal business,but it’s not enough, you can write a lot more for me. Besides, I need to make more money because I’ll be laid off in a year and will need it to live until I can find another job. It’s all about me and my company. Screw you and your patients.
Pharma was once a job for professionals. Now it’s on the same level as Enterprise service reps, UPS drivers, Dominoes delivery (without tips), in a coat and tie, or dress and high heels.
The only difference is our income, which remains high to give the company write-offs to minimize their taxes on the exorbitant profits they make and hide off shore.
Ride the gravy train as long as you can. If you buy into the company BS and smoke and mirrors, you will regret it. Use the company as a means to your end.
The company is using all of us that way.

 

So well put.

 

Wait until the ABLs have to go out into the real world and find out that all their NVS training is actually a detriment to themselves.

 

This company is where sales reps come to die, still some good talent here, but it is highly underutilized by the robotic management staff, I was in the military for 10 years and even there individuality and competent thought was still more valued than here. It is over the rainbow scary how the lemming culture still exists at this company. If you want to follow orders, kiss up, backstab....all rewarded here, the gotcha culture is childish and disgusting and I’m sure most ABLs have very unrewarding lives and find joy through positive tension and truly believe they make a difference by their title. I blame me for coming here because I knew it was big pharma and this is exactly what I got, I came here for the money, biggest mistake of my life, but I am learning from my mistakes and this job will be history for me soon, this is the only job I have ever had when I walk out the door I will miss absolutely 0 from this poor example of corporate retardation. Best of luck everyone

 

Well said.

 

Nailed it

 

This might be the best post of the year. Truthful and accountable at the same time. Unfortunately it probably holds true for most pharma companies at this point, the industry is a cesspool anymore.

 

Thanks, there are still some good companies out there, yes some of the same bs, but at least the gotcha menatality isn’t as pronounced, when I put my notice in I am going to first give it to my managers little ass kisser, she would fu@k a snake if it held its mouth open long enough, after two seconds from telling her the whole company will know and that will give her meaningless little life a pulse because she will get some attention, I can’t wait! But hey I’m a giver

 

Today’s thought.

"Insecure leaders don't want honest feedback. They just want an echo chamber."

 

You nailed it! Strong secure people in management or anywhere else for that matter, look forward to being challenged because they are proven and confident, never miss an opportunity to defend and prove, it’s different here, challenge a weak manager at Novartis and you will end up at the BPO because they feel threatened, period, kiss ass here and your on your way to bravo points.