Sooooooo,

Discussion in 'Cafepharma Playground' started by Drug Dumper, Jul 30, 2018 at 9:20 PM.

  1. Drug Dumper

    Drug Dumper Well-Known Member

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    You know how we will talk about our parents, what will we do without them, yada, yada yada? And to keep in touch, tell them how loved they are, etc., because they'll be the only parents we'll ever have? Well, don't forget your siblings, if you are on decent terms with them. Because they're the only ones you'll ever have too.

    So, my brother died last weekend...was diagnosed with advanced (Stage 4) Cirrhosis of the Liver in February. He lived about 5 hours away, so we really didn't see each other that much. Literally have not SEEN each other since 2001, but stayed in touch via e-mail, texting, Facebook up until about 2 years ago. Then, poof, nothing. Nada. He wouldn't communicate with anybody, so I kept up with him through his daughter, who basically did everything for him, (even though he had a wife....who's worthless). And a son, who is a heroin junkie. Anyway, sad life. Personally, I think he was still drinking...and taking any kind of drug he could get his hands on to kill the pain. The docs told him in February he could not have anything stronger than Tylenol....yeah, right....the last time he went to have paracentesis they drained 12 liters, and he was having that done every 2 weeks.

    The reason I'm posting this is because it's one of those woulda, coulda, shoulda things going through my head. I wish I woulda just gone and shown up at his front door so he'd have to see me, coulda tried more often, and shoulda told him I loved him more often. He knew, because I sent him a text asking if I could come see him and spend some time with him a month ago. And that I loved him. He said no because he didn't want me seeing him look the way he looked. When I saw him in the hospital bed, I was literally shocked to the tips of my toes. Teeth had rotten out, and he was about 130 pounds (all in his belly). He was septic, had pneumonia, and a gastric bleed and being kept alive with a breathing machine. The docs gave his daughter and me the choice to disconnect everything because he was not going to survive and keeping him on the machine was just prolonging the inevitable, so we said yes (his wife "just couldn't be there to make that decision....") and I held his hand as he took his last breath. Took about 3 and a half minutes. Just him, his daughter, my husband, and me. It was so peaceful.

    If you have siblings, reach out (unless it's one of those situations where there is no relationship....) If they have kids, reach out to them, because they're gonna need you when the time comes that they may have to make a difficult decision and they're gonna need your help.
     

  2. Vagitarian

    Vagitarian Well-Known Member

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    So sorry DD - if you drink, never take acetaminophen b/c that combination will rot your liver big time.
     
  3. Drug Dumper

    Drug Dumper Well-Known Member

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    I think the idea was that he wasn't going to be drinking...so taking the Tylenol would be OK. They ended up giving him morphine at the end....and that's why it was such a smooth transition. Breathing simply started getting shallower and slower and slower. There was no pain at the end. And isn't that what we all want when we check out?
     
  4. Vagitarian

    Vagitarian Well-Known Member

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    Yes, agree, no pain. It's called 'comfort care' II think?
     
  5. Vagitarian

    Vagitarian Well-Known Member

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    I guess the new term is 'palliative care'?
     
  6. Drug Dumper

    Drug Dumper Well-Known Member

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    Actually palliative care deals more with improving quality of life. Not ending it.
     
  7. Vagitarian

    Vagitarian Well-Known Member

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    Yes, while you're alive but the word was recently introduced by a pro-golfer who said his body couldn't take it any more so I guess that fooled me.
     
  8. Drug Dumper

    Drug Dumper Well-Known Member

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    Who is the pro golfer? And yes, palliative care is for end of life comfort too. My brother's doctor in ICU is a palliative care physician for nursing homes during the week. He's also a pulmonary specialist. We let him make the assessment instead of calling in a neuro. If a neuro had been called in, an EEG would have been ordered, and if there were brain waves registering, the hospital would have been required to maintain the vent, oxygen, fluids, etc. He did not have a Living Will or a DNR. What I find strange, is they didn't even ask him if he wanted to sign one when he was admitted before they did the vent.
     
  9. Vagitarian

    Vagitarian Well-Known Member

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    Jarrod Lyle
    https://people.com/sports/jarrod-lyle-enters-palliative-care-cancer/
     
  10. Drug Dumper

    Drug Dumper Well-Known Member

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  11. Vagitarian

    Vagitarian Well-Known Member

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    This is true and I applaud it. I know Oregon has this available and now California has it. I lost a very good friend 2 years ago to late onset ALS. He was a vital, hardworking successful businessman and a member of the Ocean rescue team in Cambria, CA. Then one day about 4 t=years ago, he fell down in one of his trucks unexpectedly and that was the beginning of a rapid decline where he lost all control over his body - couldn't even bathe himself. He wrote a fascinating book about his life (dictation) and once published on Kindle he requested his life ending meds, wrote is all an email and peacefully went to sleep a happy man who had a good life here.
     
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  12. Drug Dumper

    Drug Dumper Well-Known Member

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    The more I think about it the more I am convinced my brother waited as long as he did to call an ambulance because he thought he would die at home. Never in a million years would he have willingly gone into the hospital to die like that. Never. (Unfortunately, he still had a good working heart.)
     
  13. Vagitarian

    Vagitarian Well-Known Member

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    That would not surprise me - who wants to die in a hospital? Not me !
     
  14. libluvsbukkake

    libluvsbukkake Well-Known Member

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    See Zelenz Emmanuel’ “Complete Lives System.” It is essentially death panels. Sarah Palin was 100% correct.
     
  15. Vagitarian

    Vagitarian Well-Known Member

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    At the right time, a comfortable death seems appropriate - especially when it's the patient's choice. Why linger in pain?
     
  16. Drug Dumper

    Drug Dumper Well-Known Member

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    If given the chance to go out with morphine depressing my breathing ability or be in pain, I'd pick the morphine. In my brother's case, his daughter and I made that decision when we were assured he would never have any kind of quality of life if by some miracle he managed to pull though.
     
  17. Vagitarian

    Vagitarian Well-Known Member

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    Agree 1000% :cool:
     
  18. libluvsbukkake

    libluvsbukkake Well-Known Member

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    But it will be the State’s choice of Sanders or Cortez the budding pornstar have their way Vag.
     
  19. Vagitarian

    Vagitarian Well-Known Member

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    I respectfully don't think so. Where are you getting this information? Remember, this is Commiefornia, everyone has medical care and I know 2 people (one that you met) who went that route without a problem. It was their choice, their doctor. :cool: