Amgen

everyone who was offered has signed except for a handful of holdouts - these are too stooopid to worry about -these are the types that think they can get severance because their maternity benefits have been cut - they are too stooooopid to understand the only way you can even try for severance is to sign the offer - can't wait to see this malcontents left behind when our offers run out

 

You’re clearly the stupid one. 40% of the docs hasn’t signed, as of Friday.

 

Sorry, I meant, 40% of the sales force hasn’t signed yet. According to the portal.

 

The docs? You dumb fuck!!

 

documents you bumbling bafoon!!

 

I heard that everyone holding out will get 10% more to sign. Ron just negotiated it with Amgen along with his brilliant new retention plan!!

 

ron is leaving!

 

Yes this is confirmed. Ron was going to retire last year, he opted to wait for a golden parachute to take him off into the sunset instead. Millions extra with his sweetheart severance deal. Love you daddy

 

Wahoo! Our new retention bonus is bank! On top of the “focus bonus” I’m already getting, this new rents room bonus is gonna get me about $75k. Maybe more if I keep climbing up the rankings, could get over $100k with this new retention bonus. Proves otezla sales force is the most valuable in the company...Amgen reps don’t get one, home office employees don’t get one- because no one cares if they stay or leave.

 

Amgen Is now gertinf gps car tracking devices. Hi Celgene... welcome aboard.

 

fake news... oh wait no you are right. Sounded like fake news but it checks out. This is going to be comical

 

You my friend are what we call a pig monkey. Enjoy!

 

Nothing better to show an empowering, trustful culture than to put car trackers in. Watch Otezla plummet to Enbrel growth rates.

 

As soon as we vest when the deal closes people will be out of here.

 

Enbrel doesn't grow. It declines each quarter by 18%. The price gets hit enough to show net dollar growth, but Enbrel doesn't grow.