I was just contacted by a Stack of Pancakes!

The BNC starts with a bang! At the Bagel National Convention you will hear how the evil bagel hoarders will be forced to share their delicious round breads with those who have none. The government will provide the cream cheese and locks. Its a hard offer to refuse!

 

Happy Friday you bunch o pancake lovers! Treat yourselves right this weekend with an extra large syrup and a pound of butter. You have earned it.

 

Congratulations pancake lovers! You may now stick your fork in the stack every other week. Enjoy the sticky delights!

 

The silent majority will come out today This is a nation of pancake lovers, always has been, always will be.

 

I am recounting the number of pancakes on the stack. Results to be announced tomorrow. Stop the stack!

 

The evidence is produced! The never pancakers were caught on video using extra syrup and butter once they thought no one was watching. This travesty will be stopped and the pancake lovers will rejoice! RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

 

SPOTUS has ruled. The reign of Pancakes is over. Enjoy your crepes ya filthy animals. No more syrup, only jelly from here on out.

 

57k pancakes for them and millions of pancakes for other countries. Enjoy your paltry 600 griddle cakes and a complimentary crepe.Suckers.

 

Remember to kiss your favorite pancake tomorrow at midnight, may be your last chance!

 

For those of you returning to the office remember to visit the cafeteria for breakfast, the pancakes are delicious.

 

1400 pancakes being added to your stack shortly, hang in there, help is on the way!

 

Pro tip: to maintain your anonymity wear a pancake over your face when posting, works every time.

 

The luck of the Irish looms, green pancakes everywhere. Catch the leprechaun and you shall receive his delicious stack of green pancakes!

 

Pro-tip: to make Easter more interesting try hiding pancakes for the young ones to find. Only give up the butter and syrup once they have 3 on the plate.

 

This Memorial day let's remember every pancake taken off the stack while protecting our rights to butter and syrup. Patriot pancakes, the true heros of this country.

 

Pancakes were never good for normal humans. Only appropriate for child like brain dead types that are short sided about their future health. Clearly, anything at all, anything is far superior.

 

Typical crepe eater, move along.

 

For a super terrific 4th of July stick a Roman candle in your stack of pancakes. It will show everyone that you are a true patriot!

 

Look out IHOP there's a new new game in town. Dennys is coming for you. IHOP's monopolistic and oppressive tactics cannot be tolerated. At Dennys there is no suppression. Pancakes and Democracy reign Supreme!

 

That's it, I've had enough! Giving up pancakes for naan.