From a FLL: Best Analogy on GSK's Current Patient First Environment

From a previous multiple tier winning District Sales Manager:

The best analogy I can give for those considering a job at GSK or is just wondering about our current environment:

It’s like an owner of an NFL team telling their head coach and his team of assistant coaches who just won the super bowl 12 years in a row that they still expect them to win games … but starting tomorrow … “The NFL commissioner decided you are the only team in the NFL who can no longer use winning the game as a goal for your players … and not just winning the game … you can’t acknowledge them for making touchdowns or preventing the competition from scoring touchdowns.

Moving forward … we will be giving the players on your team timed written tests and simulations. They will be rewarded financially based on how well they do vs. their team members. We expect you to foster teamwork with your players in spite of the fact that they are now incentivized to compete with each other.

You will not be able to recognize them for doing well on their test scores. In fact, you won’t be able to see, and they won’t be able to see, what questions they answered correctly or incorrectly on their tests. We will provide them with books and they need to know how to improve their test scores on their own. You can no longer provide individualized training that could be viewed as giving someone a competitive advantage. All of the training will now come from headquarters and be rolled out to everyone.

Bottom line … the only thing you can recognize them for is good athletic form and not making any penalties. In fact, with the exception of the head coach, it’s also the only thing we can recognize the assistant coaches on moving forward. If we hear you’ve said good job for scoring points or preventing the other team from scoring points, you will receive a formal written warning letter and can be fired immediately.

Oh … and BTW …

It’s your job to know everything about the game, your team and the other teams you compete against. In fact all of the assistant coaches will be tested on it and compete against each other just like the players. The head coach will not get tested. The head coach will get additional pay and recognition for scoring touchdowns and preventing the competition from scoring touchdowns. So listen up head coach … you need to win games by only recognizing your assistant coaches for reducing penalties and ability to improve their players’ form. We expect you to inspire everyone around this mission. If anyone doesn't seem inspired, we recommend you find a reason to fire them … that goes for everyone.

Oh yeah … one more thing!

The commissioner said no one is allowed to use any of their competitive intelligence and advantages in a game until March 1, 2022.”

(Mid year through the season the owner returns to talk with the coaches) …

“We expect a natural bell curve to happen across all races, ages and sex. It didn’t happen naturally for your team … so we asked the head coach to call his assistant coaches and ask them to reduce some people’s scores and increase others based on their age, race and sex. Don't worry, we'll tell you specifically what to change and for which players. The last thing we need is a discrimination lawsuit. Thanks for keeping this between us. I'll end this meeting with one question for everyone in this room … please keep in mind our values of integrity and transparency … is anyone no longer feeling inspired? It's ok … you can tell us ...”

 

Love this! Thank you!

 

Of course you love your own post. I just can't believe you Wasted the time to post it.

 

What a perfect analogy

 

You have my profound gratitude for posting this!! Absolutely outstanding! You earn an "exceptional" behaviors evaluation for demonstrating truth in the face of psychosis.

 

Well, at least you're changing your tactics. The usual stuff was inane and pedantic. This was at least creative. But….please give up the "love it!" to your own posts. I see that you're better about responding to your posts within 8 minutes of the original, but it's still quite transparent that you're trying to make it appear that you have an army of white male sycophants supporting you.

My other issue is that we never won 12 Super Bowls in a row. We were always behind Pfizer, Lilly, and Merck in terms of respect. Once we got nailed for cheating, lying, payola, hiding data, bribing docs, our credibility really hit the floor, along with our Avandia sales. We WERE good back then, but never great.

That's my biggest issue with the analogy. Otherwise, your diatribes against Patient First have SOME merit.

Post script: in all honesty, your 4 year obsession with posting about PF and DC show a disturbing personality trait.

 

Agree 100%. It is fine to complain, but that moron seems to be obsessed with DC and PF and then has to comment non-stop to each of his posts just to make himself feel better.

 

Post #5: I agree the 12 years winning the super bowl is the only gap in this analogy. Maybe that's a clue as to how many tiers the manager had? Either way, I too love this post. If you go back and do the math again. The first "love it" post was one hour and nine minutes later.

 

Amazing analogy! So many have list the passion and motivation due to patient first, completely demoralizing

 

This is so true. Great job explaining the reality of today's environment. Since this is so spot on I see the attempts to dispel it with pro company posts. Wow so many so quick. How far behind plan is GSK for the year? And senior management wonders why

 

Look, we know it is you. Your continued DC rants, PF rants and replying to your own posts are obvious and tiring. You have issues that you need to deal with.

 

You get every box checked for that one. You might have even helped upper management understand how it works now?? Good Job.

 

Be patient because it won't be long until other companies and the NFL are following our lead. I'm sure NFL owners are now looking at our DD to lead them out of their troubles.

 

There is a whisper campaign that she is next in line to replace Goodell. How do you think she is going to handle the wife/girlfriend/babymomma beating incidents in the future?

 

Picture a hamster in an exercise wheel. Running, running, running, running, and getting nowhere at all. That's KPI's.

Then, picture another hanster in another such wheel. Standing, standing, standing, standing, and getting nowhere at all. That's GSK's patient first.

 

It's a form of OCD, and I'm serious. It's disconcerting because they'll just stop on one line of posts, and then start a new one with the same topic with slight modifications. And within a few minutes, here comes the "Brilliant post! Thanks for posting what so much of us feel!"

 

Now, the above is an analogy that describes GSK under PF perfectly!

 

Wow what an excellent anology and you pissed of the PR puke, we need more masterpieces like yours.

 

More nonsense from the board troll commenting on his own posts yet again.

 

Patient First, assessments, simulations, COTs, MCE and Customer Value measures are a lot like believing in Santa. *If you don't believe in the magic, the magic disappears. *If we are to believe in Santa, we must also believe in flying reindeer, elves make toys at the north pole, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. *But if we are to believe and trust in the magic of Patient First, we will also believe in the creature under our bed. Face it, the magic is gone, the problem not solved, morale at an all time low, and you believe it's our fault? *Get real, join the rest of us. We don't believe in the magic anymore. *By the way, how are sales going since Patient First came along? Average number of calls? Process Improvement? Morale? It's not looking good on paper anymore.