company car options.....please don't drag me through the dirt

I am likely going to be accepting an offer with Novartis. Due to the size of our family cars and the fact that I will get a company car, we may sell one of ours. Can someone please give me an honest answer? What are the car options at Novartis? Thanks in advance for honest, serious answers only.

 

You get to choose between the Ford Taint or the Chevy Bukkake

 

Ford Fusion

 

Ford Fusion.....
And so
Sorry you need a paycheck so badly you have to join us

 

Honestly, you get a Honda Fit, or a SMART CAR. I hope your family is skinny.

 

Toyota Dingleberry

 

Here is my "Serious" answer (seeings as you asked for Serious Answers only):

I have a close friend with inside information that they confided in me from the fleet department about the 2013 transportation options.

The new mode of transportation for sales reps will be a pink 20" bicycle. Pink will be the only color choice as a way to cut costs from the manufacturer being able to buy pink paint in bulk quantities. If a rep chooses they may pay to upgrade to a shiny thumb-operated bell mounted on the handlebars, or they may also choose to upgrade to pink streamers that will flow off the handlebars and blow in the breeze. Those reps in the snow belt territories will be given 1 ski to be mounted to the front forks in inclement weather and a studded rear tire will also be available.

Managers will be issued a bicycle-built-for-two. However, there will only be pedals mounted for the front seat where the sales rep will ride during your monthly ride-a-longs. This will allow the manager to sit back and relax on the rear seat while staying current with corporate e-mails and Facebook on their company issued iPad.

 

Wow!! The wit, or lack of, on this thread is astonishing!

 

I hope you're happy coming to Novartis. The company has, in many ways, a lot to offer - except good management.

 

You will be so sorry you made the choice to come to Novartis. By far, the absolute worse pharmaceutical company I have every worked for! Management is horrible, from district managers, all the way up. Not to mention, you will probably be looking for a new job in the next year, because there will not be anything to sell. Which may be the only good thing this company offers, severance packages. If you need a paycheck I guess accept the job, if you can wait, keep entertaining other opportunities. Don' say you weren't warned.

 

Congratulations on the job. Probably not the best website to come to for anything enlightening or uplifting, but I have been here as a rep for 16 years and have been treated fairly and respectfully. Sure, always a handful of managers you don't agree with but there isn't a pharma co that doesn't have those same struggles. Plenty of layoffs, but look around, every company is losing drugs to generic intrusion. Its part of the deal. I know many friends who left Novartis claiming the grass would be greener etc. Its not...(it is sometimes, I know)

Car options are Ford Fusion, you can get an Escape or Taurus with medical exception or pay the difference. You might get one of these that were leftover from the last layoff. I was given a loaded Taurus. leather etc. I was lucky to get it however. Fusion is decent and only costs you $90 a month out of your paycheck Tough to beat if you ask me...

Good luck.

OK, now everyone can start bashing me for drinking the kool aid etc. Get a life people.

 

This is spot on. I would not come here unless you are desperate for income. You most likely will be laid off in less than a year. If you are desperate and still going to take the job, keep your car and don't sell it as you will need it in a few months when they lay you off.

 

I have been through the ups and downs in this industry for 14 yrs. I don't think ANY pharma co is completely safe. I'm not drinking the koolaid, because I've been around long enough to know the pros amd cons and that cafe pharma will never say anything positive. This website serves very little purpose. I thought I might be able to get one person to give a serious answer about co car choices, but no, it had to blow into a discussion that had NOTHING to do with my original question. Thanks.

 

Welcome, I love working here. Of course, everything is not perfect, but overall it's a pretty nice place to be. I've worked for 10 different people over the years and all have been great, really. And the incentive plan this year is sweet, hopefully it will stay but we'll see. If you get all 3 products above goal, triple incentive pay on top of multiplier. Some people are raking it in.

The car options change every year. With the recent downsizing you will likely get a car from someone who was displaced. I think the jetta replaced the fusion. Good luck!

 

Easy to beat if you ask me. I work for another company now and pay nothing per month for a loaded Escape (leather, sunroof, Sirius paid for, heated seats, NAV, synch) which is changed out every 50K. And, I make more in salary and bonus -the bonus is way better by the way. You, my friend, need to get out and get a life. Novartis is a shithole

 

Congrats on the new job. Please do not sell your car. You will need it. Take it off the road or keep making payments but do not sell it.

 

What are car choices and do they differ for divisions or regions?

 

Sorry to revive the original question... Potential new hire here and before you go all crazy on me - NO the car won't be a make it break it part of my decision making. Just wondering what the director level cars are for 2014/2015. Thank you in advance to the people who reply 1) seriously or 2) like the pink bicycle poster (that was seriously funny!).

 

This is by far the single best message I've ever read on CP. Kudos to OP!!!

 

Amen! What asshole gives 2 fucks about a company car in this day and age of high unemployment and decreasing opportunities. Be happy someone wanted to hire you. Awesome response!