My firm has openings across the country for people with Pfizer-specific skill sets: 1. Overly inflated ego, 2. Cannot think for yourself. 2B. Follows orders without question 3. Phoney to a fault 4. Has no clue on how to get business 5. Takes all the credit, but none of the blame. If you are one of the few who fit our needs and high expectations please forward your CV to IamaPfizerasshole.com for immediate consideration. We look forward to hearing from you.
Quit trying to steal away our ELT! Without them who would keep running this ship into icebergs? I'd totally miss their fake "own it! Culture".
Thanks for letting us know there ARE other opportunities out there. A couple questions: How many days off do I get? What's the company car, I have 5 kids and want a bigger vehicle preferably an SUV since I live in a prestigious neighborhood and want to keep up, how good is the insurance,( I want new boobs), I only want 2 field rides per year, and how many POA's will I be attending. If you can match my current salary plus a 24% raise and continue providing the benes Pfizer offers: 32 vacation/holidays, 61 I don't want to do this fucking job days, 30 what the hell can I do today days, and 6 I'm having a bad period days you've got me. Oh ya, one more thing, are there stock options or a sign on bonus?
You are hired! Are you married? I think I love you! Work when you want, no lunches, use your expense acct to supplement you income, drive the company car, whatever you'd like Beemer X5? , into the ground, days off? Same as I had with Pfizer 364.
