Movantik Launch in Vegas

Who's looking forward to the Movantik University launch meeting in Las Vegas next week? I know I am!

 

I know I am. My manager and I are going to have sex for the first time! I will finally get rated outstanding this year!

 

Make him wear a condom. Anal sex has the highest HIV transmission rate.

 

Just heard about this. New money saving innitiative. We will have shared rooms in meetings now starting with movantik launch.

 

Is it true a few of us will be given lortabs for a few days and forced to eat low fiber foods, so we can explain on stage on the final day what it feels like to not a shit?

Hope so!

Can't wait to talk about shitting!!!

Only the cream of the crop can do this job!

 

he is a vergin

 

Coming soon to a television ad near you.
______________________________

Announcer: "Have YOU got a GOING problem?"

"GO MOVANTIK!"
(shouts a balding constipated portly middle aged man as he attempts to leap but
stumbles over a couch with his pants at his ankles and shuffles into the bathroom).

 

As our little "Shit Reps" make their way to Vegas, one can only imagine their first call on their little "Shit Lists" of targets. "Dr. Primary Care, since you use tons of narcs to treat pain, and you patients stopping shitting, consider Movantik to get them on track once more." His reply, "I only give them narcs for a few days, and tell them to take something OTC if they can't crap."

Another shitless patient loss to OTC! Now be sure to practice your little shitty role play in your room at night, so you won't fumble around and shit yourself from the embarrassment of screwing up!

 

Dr.: "Of course I only prescribe opiods for a short time period to my patients with pain. Are you accusing me of being a pill-mill?"

Rep: "No doctor, of course it is other doctors that are handing out opiod prescriptions like candy. How else could the DEA possibly allow enough opiods to be produced each year to anesthetize the US population seven time over?"

 

Better be prepared because EVERY training class sends some reps home.Don't be one of them.

 

Seriously, VERGIN? Is that sort of like a Vegan who has never had oral sex?
God you people are stupid as shit. I hope that you don't work for AZ or that you were fired for being too stupid to even read a script off of your tablet.

 

Give us all an update on how your little shitty meeting is going! Anybody drop a turd during a break yet? It might be motivational, and get a movement going! What a pathetic, POS drug!

 

A good friend of mine had a tattoo that says it all "Carpe Diem!"

 

You may not give a crap about Movantik... but constipation is a real pain in the butt!

 

Why not just go with good old fashioned prune juice?

 

Overheard at the Movantik launch meeting.

- I was moved by the Movantik launch.

- Before Movantik, I couldn't give a sh*t

- Constipation doesn't run in the genes.

- You'll have to get your butts moving to launch this drug.

- Movantik fills a hole in the market.

- When your manager says jump, you say, "how wide?"

- "Remember, until we officially launch, it's not out yet."

- Tough meeting, I'm pooped out.

- Talk about a crappy launch meeting.


And of course who can forget role play:

"Doctor, have you heard of Movantik?"
Doctor, "Nope."
"That's because it's just come out."

 

Take a laxative take a shit geeze

 

So are they saying that prune juice does not work for people on opioid drugs?

 

It's important to be able to explain the cost per additional turd. Gee Doc, with Mooovantik your average patient can generate 2 additional fully formed turds per week. Have you been concerned that their stools are too soft, perhaps they have be dropping a slushy mix with gas or even holding out to drop tiny hard turds. Now with Mooooooovantik those turds will be properly formed.

We'll want to highlight how a properly formed turd allows the anal spincter to relax so patients can reduce the strain of shitting. Gee Doc imagine the relaxed feeling of dropping a load without extra effort. Don't your patients deserve a smoother shit, a finely formed turd with just the right mix of water and solid waste ?

 

I love my job!