Novartis to layoff over 100 percent?

Discussion in 'Novartis' started by Anonymous, Jan 14, 2015 at 6:35 PM.

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  1. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    Jan 15, 2015
    AP

    Novartis, the Basel based pharmaceutical giant, today announced an industry first. Laying off over 100 percent of its salesforce. The CEO of Novartis, Mr Jimenez, stated - We figured if cutting 40 percent increased out bottom line by 2 billion then by doing simple math cutting 100 percent of our salesforce would provide us with Revenues of 5 billion.

    When asked in the conference call what he meant by over 100 percent Mr Jimenez explained - our goal is to cut 400 percent of our salesforce size by the end of 2017. So to do this we will send layoff notices to other companies in our industry such as Pfizer, AstraZeneca, Roche etc. This would mean a growth at Novartis of 20 billion by 2018.

    The Pfizer and Roche CEOs have not commented but Mr Soriot, the CEO of AstraZeneca did comment and stated they would not honor or entertain Novartis' request.

    Jack Asee Ninne, a financial reporter said "this is absolute genius, I'm just curious why nobody thought to layoff over 100 percent of its force before"

    Mr Ennis Small, a consultant for the industry wasn't so optimistic. While in theory this should work, he said, I have my doubts because, at least in theory, Novartis would cease to exist. In addition I question the legal implications when he involves other companies.
     

  2. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    If they could, they would!
     
  3. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    I'm black. Will I get laid off?
     
  4. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    Oh yeah you will!
     
  5. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    Nothing sells itself Jimenez, how bout we can you ass with a lot of you cronies since all of you are responsible for the demise of Novartis!
     
  6. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    Now, now - you're going to hurt Jimenez's feelings. You know he reads CP.
     
  7. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    How come you are not in jail?
     
  8. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    For a guy that grew up in a middle class family he should be looking himself in the mirror and asking what happened to his moral compass...all he and the smart asses have done is destroy Novartis ....the germans are now ruling and their ultimate goal is to move everything to india and china to cut costs......people don't matter they are disposable...respect America you make 30% of your revenue leave some jobs here!
     
  9. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    People using the race card to hide their SEVERE incompetence should be fired, not layed off.
    If it was for me, layoffs or not, I'd build up a strong case against such incompetent fools, and let them go.
     
  10. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    He is the reason we need the WALL!
     
  11. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    And fire 500% of all management. This shithole of a company should just put itself out of its misery.
     
  12. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    It's 'laid off' not 'layed off' said the severely incompetent black man. Judging by your inability to structure a complete sentence, it must be safe to assume you are hiding behind the daily privileges of being white.
     
  13. anonymous

    anonymous Guest


    Privileges are earned through centuries of hard work and not always looking for hand outs
     
  14. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Am i racist if I call you a dick?