TPS Reports

Discussion in 'Alcon' started by Anonymous, Jun 23, 2014 at 11:09 PM.

Tags: Add Tags
  1. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    Dom Portwood: Hi, Peter. What's happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports.
    Peter Gibbons: Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Bill talked to me about it.
    Dom Portwood: Yeah. Did you get that memo?
    Peter Gibbons: Yeah. I got the memo. And I understand the policy. And the problem is just that I forgot the one time. And I've already taken care of it so it's not even really a problem anymore.
    Dom Portwood: Ah! Yeah. It's just we're putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now. So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that'd be great. All right!
     

  2. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    you could probably talk the av guys into screening Office Space in the auditorium.
     
  3. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    it's not that I'm lazy, it's just that I really don't care...
     
  4. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    Bob Slydell: Milton Waddams.
    Dom Portwood: Who's he?
    Bob Porter: You know, squirrely looking guy, mumbles a lot.
    Dom Portwood: Oh, yeah.
    Bob Slydell: Yeah, we can't actually find a record of him being a current employee here.
    Bob Porter: I looked into it more deeply and I found that apparently what happened is that he was laid off five years ago and no one ever told him, but through some kind of glitch in the payroll department, he still gets a paycheck.
    Bob Slydell: So we just went ahead and fixed the glitch.
    Bill Lumbergh: Great.
    Dom Portwood: So um, Milton has been let go?
    Bob Slydell: Well just a second there, professor. We uh, we fixed the *glitch*. So he won't be receiving a paycheck anymore, so it will just work itself out naturally.
    Bob Porter: We always like to avoid confrontation, whenever possible. Problem solved from your end.
     
  5. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    Someone needs a life, who would take the time to write this out?? nobody cares!
     
  6. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    Wow, apathy, you must work in management. The message should be clear, but since you are in management let me spell it out for you ALCON IS NOW JUST LIKE THE MOVIE WATCH IT YOU MIGHT LEARN SOMETHING - YOUR NEXT!
     
  7. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    Peter Gibbons: The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
    Bob Porter: Don't... don't care?
    Peter Gibbons: It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? And here's something else, Bob: I have eight different bosses right now.
    Bob Slydell: I beg your pardon?
    Peter Gibbons: Eight bosses.
    Bob Slydell: Eight?
    Peter Gibbons: Eight, Bob. So that means that when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.
     
  8. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    Scary familiar
     
  9. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    Alcon was like Office Space when the movie was first released.