Memo to all Novo Nordisk employees:

Memo to all Novo Nordisk employees:

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T)
We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S. H. I. T. you can handle.
Employees who don't take their S. H. I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T).
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T).
Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T already. If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T).
For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S..H.I.T).

Sincerely,
The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training. (The D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T).

Outstanding! Great read!!! And very true to the mentality at Novo!!!

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Outstanding! Great read!!! And very true to the mentality at Novo!!!

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You either:
A. Didn't get a job during our expansion
B. Didn't get promoted because you dumbass attitude
C. Work for another company

You are easy pickings.

Nice copy and paste from Sanofi-Aventis's site

Loved this post. Although it is a cut & paste from SA, it really applies to what we are all going through at Novo. It's hilarious.

That sucks that someone stole it from the SA board. I thought someone at Novo was actually being clever.

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[ QUOTE ]
Outstanding! Great read!!! And very true to the mentality at Novo!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

You either:
A. Didn't get a job during our expansion
B. Didn't get promoted because you dumbass attitude
C. Work for another company

You are easy pickings.

[/ QUOTE ]

So are you and your mother. I'm your DBM, and your mother picked the corn out of my shit with her tongue last night. "Tasty morsels," she said.

I LOVE IT!

Give us more~

The clever people have left Novo.

Amen, this is a cut and paste from the Aventis site.

Aventis stole it from another company......hint......BIG PHARMA.

BIG DEAL.......it truly applies to the atmosphere at Novo.

Sad that you have nothing better to do than harrass and demean, hope you don't allow this behavior to control your life.

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Shit? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Shit!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Shit is the only son of Awe Shit.
Awe Shit, the fertilizer magnate, married Miss O. Needeep They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Shit married Noe Shit. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Shit, Giva Shit, Fulla Shit, Bull Shit, and the twins Deap Shit and Dip Shit.
Against her parents' objections, Deap Shit married her cousin Dumb Shit, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Shit divorced.

Noe Shit later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Shit Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Shit married Loda Shit, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chick N. Shit.
Two of the other six children, Fulla Shit and Giva Shit, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Shit-Happens nuptials.

The Shit-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Shit, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Shit.

Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Shit," you can correct them.