Amgen needs to move to Texas

Discussion in 'Amgen' started by anonymous, Apr 27, 2021 at 3:48 PM.

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  1. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    [​IMG]
     

  2. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    It could be worse. We could be living in New Jersey.
     
  3. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Don’t worry, we all knew from your condescending tone that you weren’t a sales rep... enjoy drinking your wine alone because someone like you likely has no friends you arrogant a$$
     
  4. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    You are the kind of guy that over manscapes his crouch and wears too much cologne. On the weekends, you go to the salon to have your eyebrows threaded. You are probably making bank as a single guy but you can't hold down any meaningful relationships. The girls that go to the clubs are way too young and don't give you the time a day.

    You probably tried online dating but only the 3x divorcees give you the time a day. I bet you work out daily at Amgym and do a light regime of "performance enhancement". You are the guy that brings in protein shakes in the morning and carries around a gallon of water (even though you only drink 1/3 of it).

    I am sure you dress in trendy clothes that are WAY too tight. The ladies in your work flow gossip about you in the ladies room. Keep up the great work, dbag.
     
  5. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    We have a Golf Prick on our hands. This is the conversation he will have on the veranda:

    Ted? Tedddddd in Global Accounts? GREAAAAAT GUY! BIG STICK! Owns a catamaran; his second wife Patti has a tremendous fake rack. Has a place out in Olde Thornewilde Heights......single digit millions. Backyard DOES NOT back to the preserve. He has a stepson from Patti's first marriage, so fuck that. SHARP dresser. Padraig Harrington collection. Played with him at the retreat in Scottsdale - laid up down the back 9 when he got a stroke up on me after a bullshit break on the apron. Questionable downswing. Still, BIG STICK. Buttfucked a lady-boy accidentally in Mexico on a fraternity trip once. But GREAAAAT guy. Looooove Patti. Really like Patti. Stepkid is an arsonist or a Goth or some shit. So, like I said: fuck that. But Patti is a sweet girl and a really class lady. Takes Zoloft. Cries a lot. Would love to suck on those fake tits of hers. Natural blonde. But Ted...like I said - GREAAAAAT guyyyyy."


    This golf prick has a predictable set of interests:

    Living in a community with a faux Olde English name
    Have you ever played __________?
    Telling you the prices of things
    Friend's wives
    Who is, and who is not, a GREAAAAT guy
    This is Mickelson's Year
    Name dropping
    Home office>Sales reps
    Who has fucked up stepkids (or possibility of acquiring fucked up stepkids)
    Who does, and does not possess "a big stick"
    Their incredible play of an unfathomable obstacle
    Man, would you look at that ass! (punctuated by whistle followed by swing of non-existent driver)
    Where you bought your shoes
    Private Universities>Public Universities
    Does it back to preserve?
    Am I turning my wrist over? No, seriously. Watch me again.
    Divorce
    Age of consent laws
    Catamarans
    Do you know who that guy's Dad is?
     
  6. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    I believe in the psychology world they call the above ‘projection’...
     
  7. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    You TOTALLY pegged him bro!!!!! Manscapes his crouch!! LOL!!! Let's crush beer cans on our heads together at the next national meeting. LOL!!!
     
  8. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    prop 13 is CA not TX

    TX tax rates can go up as much as they want to raise them
     
  9. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    I know you are but what am I?

    Weak
     
  10. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Lifting today, bro.


    Gotta get supplies. So first thing I do is run GNC. I don't run to or run by the GNC. It is understood that any establishment I enter, be it Baja Fresh, Gymboree, or Mailboxes Etc - is where I then proceed to run my game.

    I need to pick up a gallon of agua, aerosolized protein, and raid the peel-away cologne ads.

    First, the magazine rack...

    Obsession For Men to ma nutz. Cool Waterto my ass nape. Drakkair Noir dabbed to my do-rag. Obsession For Men to my nethers because the ad features Kate Moss, and the look on her face says,"I just made myself throw up so hard", and that's hot; and the other ads feature dudes and I'm not a gay homosexual. Though I do admire the bodies of attractive men in bodybuilding magazines and like to groom and dress myself just-so.

    The Cool Water ad is Tom Brady wearing a scarf, throwing a snowball at a sleigh. The Drakkair Noir ad shows a tuxedoed secret agent opening a safe while a leggy Ukrainian blonde holds her cheek because he just slapped some information out of her. Holiday themes.


    Now I smell delicious and powerful.

    I carry my own personal water supply at all times because dehydration is the silent killer. I waterboard my thirst until it complies with my wishes. Water can't be from the tap. You might as well drink from a Hep B hobo corpse anus after the creek floods. And water fountains are basically the biological containers in Prometheus.

    I choose a bottle of Pure Valkyrie Ice Explosion. Source: Municipal Water Supply of LA County. This is the very purest of water sources because the picture on the container depicts a birch-skinned Scandinavian woman - scientifically proven one of the cleanest ethnicities - stabbing a glacial waterfall with an ice spear. And - no transfats!

    Protein aerosol infuses my organism with vital amino acids without the wasteful process of digestion. I am a student of Nature. Herbivores are weak and passive. Because of digestion. Powerful, ripped animals do not digest. They savage their foods. See: jaguars, fire ants, zombies. They beast on their prey, extracting only the most masculine nutrients. Then they poop a human hand. The aerosol is administered directly into my eye socket for rapid uptake.

    Let's do this. Gym.

    I park my ride in the middle line of two spaces and put my alpaca car cover on. 71 more months of payments and she's M-I-N-E. Weak that this gym doesn't valet.

    I walk in the front door laughing to show everyone that I'm having a good time. A real good time.

    Every head turns. As uuuusghe.

    I don't scan my membership ID. I just make a six shooter with my index finger and thumb and shoot Front Desk Dylan with an imaginary bullet in his blonde tips. I never even break stride as Courtnii With Two i's drapes a towel over my shoulder. Love the front desk crew. Though I miss Big Ken. He'd do squats until he had diarrhea. The government is weird about child art and how it's defined. Miss ya, Big Ken.

    Walking past the mat room, I see a fit dude circuit training his core, focusing on every angle and fiber of his entire body, moving from functional exercise to exercise with precision utilizing kettle bells, medicine balls, and battle ropes. Gay.

    Let's bench!

    I attack the bench press like a pack of Oaxacans in a Wal-Mart parking lot who've spotted a Ford F-150 with three lawnmowers in the bed turning in off of the access road.

    I put three plates on each side. 25s. Some people use 45s. It's a personal choice. I space each plate out slightly so that they'll clank more when I bounce the bar off of my chest.

    I lay down. I scream like a gladiator to build my chi and force my pudenda to aggressively saturate my triceps with testosterone.

    "COMBAT! TODAY! TODAY IS YOUR DAY, MATTHEW!"

    I have not seen actual combat per se as I have never been in the military. I Googled the fitness requirements for the military once and it was all basically jogging and pull-ups. And we wonder why we can't conquer Canada?

    I spend fourteen minutes getting my grip right and breathing like I'm in a Lemaze class. I find my grip, letting the bar meld to my calfskin fingerless weight gloves, pull myself up to the bar and back down in preparation for exploding and...I break it off each time.

    "NO LIFT," I shout, swatting at my face and torso like a bear raiding a bee hive. "NO LIFT!"

    Then I stand up and repeat the process.

    You must have your shit mentally flawless for the physics of the lift to explosively congeal with mind-body synergy. Otherwise, the neurons in your brain will direct hostile energies to rip your pecs, even if you have used the sensible prophylaxis of Ripped Fuel to coat all of your muscle fibers. Fact.


    I mouth a quiet prayer to Lee Labrada.

    No.

    NO!

    My mind isn't right. Gonna scout trim.

    I bring my water source. Dehydration is out there, waiting. I fashion my gym towel into a beautiful absorbent swan, the way they do on your bed at fancy hotels, and leave it to mark my territory. Don't even think about it, bro.

    Nod at Bailey and Kerri Lynn. They pretend to ignore me. Haters gonna hate.

    There's my reflection in the floor to ceiling mirror. Amazing. When I suck my cheekbones in, people say I look like a cross between not really Rob Lowe and Danny Bonaduce.

    Oh, what's this? A hot girl and her ugly friend doing seated rows. I walk over and grab the pull down bar across from them. Lightly. Back and Bis is Monday/Thursday, guy. But it's enough to spread my lats open like a flying squirrel and gives my 'pits the proper sanction to seduce the pores of their faces with my musk.

    "Splendid females make me feel strong, when they're fine as hell," I quip.

    They both look up. I shake my head at the ugly one. Not you, yeti. This isn't a charity walk. You don't get a t-shirt and a ribbon.


    jet before they can respond. I'm toying with them.

    But I forget my jug.

    Can't double back for the jug. I lose power and credibility.

    I remark casually over my shoulder,"That vessel is...my gift to you. Drink its potent waters."

    I'll close that deal later. Always planting seeds.

    Time to bench.

    What the...

    Where is my towel bird? And who is this jack-off? And why does he wish to die on this day?

    "Yo, did I say you could work in, jabroni?"

    He's in the middle of his set, so I stand over him with my balls draped near his chin like a billy goat beard.

    My Kate Moss groin fumes dominate his grill. He starts to cough. "Hey, I didn't know. It was empty for ten minutes."

    I looked at him in silent disdain. Yeah, you know now, bro. You know now. You saw the swan marker, guy. Do you think it was just resting there on migration to the Spinning studio? That's not how towels behave.

    Forget it, man. I got my hour and a half in. Time to hit the showers. Come back tonight and blast calves.
     
  11. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Yo brahs
    Its Sunday and that means it gUn day. Me and my boy Brodi drive out to the range to hone in on our skill. I got my Kimber 1911 back from the shop. I just dropped 7 Benjamins on a trigger job and need to test it out.

    Brrrappppppp
    I unload the entire mag of 45s in under 3 secs

    Shut up old crazy dude-You can't tell me I shouldn't rapid fire from 7 feet away. Don't you know, I can take you out with one 5 finger death punch.

    Just to piss him off, I grap my Sig Sauer p226 in my left hand and my Glock 19 gen 5 in my right. I told the dude to F off and rapid fired both pistols at the same time until empty.

    What the F old vet. U kickin ME off the property?? I would have taken you down if you hadn't pulled out that wheel gun. Sneaky old timer waited till my guns were empty.

    Screw this place. Me and my boy will road trip it to AZ and blast cactus in the desert.

    I drop off Brodi at his pops place in Malibu. His house is next door to that couger Pam Anderson. B is mad at me that we got kicked out. Says I am in trouble bc we got invited to the range from his pops friends. I leave before his pop comes out. That dude is a crazy lawyer that always is packing.

    Side Trip:
    Time to get my protein smoothie and special supplement shot.

    Gun into GNC and see the new smokin hot worker named Kensy. She is wearing those tight lulu lemons just right. Brah, I can't believe she is only 19. It aint weird to flirt with someone 15 years younger.

    While talking to the hotty, I keep wondering where Doc is at. He is running late with my special meds. It ain't illegal or anything. Doc helps out a bunch of minor leage ball players bulk up. Dude, he CHOSE to leave his family medical practice so he could help guys get a tighter bicep.

    Doc finally drives up in his custom F150. Man he spent 3 large for each tire. He just got it back from a shop in East LA and it looks gnarly.

    Mother F, I can believe he went up 20% on my shots. Brah-I shouldn't have to hep pay for the $12,000 you spent on wheels. Those rims look fake anyhow. Screw him..I goin with a new guy I met on Venice Beach.

    What time is it? Its tan time.

    Swing into the shop and I see my boy Dakota. He is always asking me to hang out on the weekends. He gets my Fitzpatrick 3 tone just right. I tell him to crank on the humidifier so I can get a long sweat.

    My boy Dakota has his own taning bed timing. Screw the FDA-they know nothin. There is a sweet spot of coloring before you look like an illegal an D knows how to get that look.

    He is quick to wipe up my ball sweat in the tan bed. He keeps asking about my legs. I tell him it is always important to put in the time on thighs and calves.

    He asks me about my smell goods for the week. I tell him I went to the outlet in Inland Empire and picked up: Egoiste by Chanel. Tobacco Vanille by Tom Ford. Fahrenheit by Dior. Quorum by Antonio Puig. Paco Rabanne Pour Homme by Paco Rabanne. I dropped 800 on the bottles but you got to smell good to get ahead at Amgen.

    I currently have on Ford's Tobacco Vanille. No dude, you can't smell my neck. I ain't Q- not that there is anything wrong with it. There was that time at camp in 11th grade.

    No Dude, I can't go to Cheesecake Factory with you....What you payin? Let's go broheim. I need to eat some proteins.
     
  12. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Brah, I ate like Rob Kardashian last night. I told Dakota that I needed to fuel my sports car bod. I powered down a 16 oz NY Strip and also tossed down a full orange chicken.

    I ran into Big Ken at the bar. He go out on bail from county and wanted to drink. K kept ordering everyone Tito Lemon Drops.

    Next thing I recall is that we were at my condo. I vaguely remember turning on Netflix to watch Generation Iron.
    TO BE THE BEST-YOU GOT TO WATCH THE BEST.

    Barf time. EVEN IN THE TUB. My maid will clean in tomorrow.

    I tossed up 4 times in the night. Spiritual is how I describe. My body is cleansed of all the un-pure.

    Bro-Why are Big K and Dakota curled up on the couch??? What the F did you do to my Arizona State blanket!!

    Breathe-DON'T GO HULK ON BIG KEN.

    Slam down 2 16oz Polar Ice water bottles I flew in from NYC. Pop a Vicodin and eat a tums. Going back to bed because my body is a temple and needs rest.

    "Everyone wants to be me" I repeat as I drift off.
     
  13. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    OK…a lot to talk about here…


    Sure the cost of living in California, especially in its most desirable locations, is not low comparatively to many other states. I would also say it’s not a state of only multi-millionaires either. You don’t have 40M people and the largest and most diverse economy in the county without having a middle and working class.


    Sales Tax? All but five states have sales tax and the delta from high to low is not that wide. State income tax? All but 8 have state income tax and again the delta between them is not substantially different for middle class earners. Prices of goods sold? Sure, some things in CA are more expensive and some are not. Gas is more expensive than most places, however if the price of gas being a buck less per gallon or not is the difference between you being financially stable or not, my guess is you have bigger financial problems on your hands. With that being said it’s all relative…if you are accustomed to paying X for something, you are not shocked by it. Staples like food, and clothes I see no difference in CA than other states. I'd also add that our property tax as a percentage is very low. Every state government needs their tax collection to operate, and each state gets theirs one way or another. Sure, TX doesn't have state income tax but they still need to fill their coffers one way or another, so they are getting it not through a state income tax but other taxation methods. Or do you think it just operates on its own?


    Corporate income tax? Well unless you own a corporation, which I am doubtful you do, how does that affect you? Save the BS, 'well when you tax the corporations, they raise the prices' nonsense as those prices would affect all consumers across the country/globe not just those in the HQ'd state.


    What do I get for my money? Guessing you've not spent much time in the state as the weather and diverse geography alone are worth the price of admission. I'll save the laundry list of thousands of other things that CA offers that most states don't as those two stand on their own and are indisputable, also tourism data supports that as CA is at the top 1 to 3 on the list for volume of out of state tourists and dollars spent year in and year out. Add to that CA has one of the highest per capita incomes in the union. So yes, it may cost more to live here, but we make more.


    Homelessness? Again, guessing you read headlines and don't travel much. CA is the most populace state in the union and as such mathematically you would expect to see a higher volume of homelessness. No doubt rising house and rental prices play a part, however homelessness is not a CA only problem, nor is it only a cost or supply issue. In fact, the poorest states in our county tend to be Red states in the south. Furthermore, I've been to many major metros across the south and have seen tent cities and homelessness. What you also fail to realize that in LA and SF the homeless are typically concentrated in parts of the city that few visit anyway. I don't see homeless people in Newport Beach, Malibu, or Brentwood, or Bel Air. By no means am I saying it’s not a major problem, but it is not a CA only problem. Lastly, how does driving or walking past a homeless person affect your day or life? They are poor people struggling…I get it…you don’t like seeing face to face. Probably the same way you don’t like seeing two men holding hands or kissing in public.


    More government and less freedom? Umm seems to me the Red States are getting deeper into the lives of people like telling them who can and cannot get an abortion, who can and cannot get married, how/where people can or cannot vote because they didn't like the outcome of an election. Those seem like pretty big government oversteps and trampling of people’s freedoms to me. I'm old enough to remember when being a conservative meant fiscally conservative...until the GOP got in bed with the Christian Right and started taking up causes they ignored prior just to get more single issue voters.


    Middle class and taxes? You think taxes are what is squeezing the middle class? You don't think conservative led dismantling of labor unions or business owners outsourcing labor and manufacturing jobs overseas to save a buck has anything to do with the shrinking of the middle class? Stemming from this we shifted form a manufacturing economy to a service economy while adding massive amounts of automation to once human labor jobs...yet you don't think that shift is squeezing the middle class, rather it is state sales and income tax? Perhaps you should look at the GOP driven failed trickle down theory of economics in the 80's - which has been debunked by non-partisan economists for decades - as a reason the distribution of wealth shifted dramatically.



    Newsom? Perhaps you should check in on the recall efforts as they are losing steam and there will not be anywhere near enough votes to make it happen…along with a $76B surplus it’s not going to happen. I’ll redirect you back to this post when the recall effort fails.


    Are folks pissed? Sure, it was a tough year for everyone one in all states. Also, when aren't they pissed at politicians? Cleary enough conservatives were pissed to vote differently in 2020.


    All of your sound bites are just that. They have no real backing when you actually look at the issues. I get it…you don’t like how liberal California is. Great, you don’t live here so why do you care, and furthermore why do you choose to work for a California company that clearly leans left of center? I got news for you…if you think Amgen is liberal stay away from the real biotech’s in the Bay Area.



    Good luck finding a job at all those Texas bio/pharma companies…
     
  14. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Communism, alive and well in CA.
    I doubt you can say drought.
    Wildfires…. Uh yeah.
    Mudslides, not just at DQ
    Shaking all over just waitin for da big en.
    Great place to be!
     
  15. anonymous

    anonymous Guest


    How was that ice storm? That looked like loads of fun! Also have fun in tornado alley this summer Texas...oh don’t forget about hurricane season...should be fun. Not to mention the oppressive heat and humidity that will surely kill folks this summer. What a great place to live!
     
  16. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    All that, and 1 Pelosi is a thousand times worse. Signed - the rest of the nation.
     
  17. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Outside of not agreeing with your political stance, what has she done that's so wrong? Nothing. You're another Fox watching knuckle dragger.
     
  18. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Apparently you missed the special election results for NM...and the 2020 election...clearly it’s not the rest of the nation. Fun to watch the GOP crumble from the top down.
     
  19. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Too many words. If you need to be this long winded then you lose.
     
  20. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Go watch your Jersey Shore reruns, idiot.