An Open Letter to Vas: What defines us is as how we respond to this difficult situation

Dear random associate,

thank you so much for your courage to write me on this wonderful forum. I just ask to my admin to print several exemplars of it and to dispose them in the toilets of my fancy building.
It will be my pleasure to wipe my arse with it after the very spicy meal I had today.

But I want you to know that I will soon pronounce a long and empty speech to comfort the bunch of idiots that you are, I plan to use the following buzzword, as usual:

- Ethic
- compliance
- not guilty
- Machine learning
- Hyderabad
- no redundancy (this month)
- digital
- deep learning of law + lawyer digitalisation

I am currently thinking to replace our entire legal department by a big algorithm designed by our finest software developers in India. The project started in April 2018 and is already 67 months late. TBH it is not working very well, but these guys in HYD are nice and cheap, so be confident in the future, we have more that 100 years of history in drug development, what could go wrong, right ?

Once I will be done with these small setbacks, I will keep going on my master plan: move the rest of the jobs in Basel and US to HYDERABAD. I will not tolerate one ounce of competency in THIS COMPANY, I just need COST EFFECTIVENESS.

FUCK U and HAVE A GREAT DAY

YOUR BELOVED SMILING BRIGHT CEO

YOU FIRED!

 

Lay off the sauce mate

 

What crisis?