Aspen surgical

Numbers are set by our marketing leader. Perhaps this leader doesn't have enough experience or education to understand the consequences of setting the bar too high. Perhaps this leader gutted an experienced team in order to get rid of internal competition (simply playing the game of thrones) and doesn't have a clue. I agree, putting the company at risk and killing loyalty for a few home runs simply to get your exec bonus is pretty short sighted.

 

I guess as they say.....there's a sucker born everyday! Everyone at round table is still shaking their heads in disbelief that you guys paid that much bling for us. Did you guys forget to research our company? We sell low margin surgical instruments for heaven's sake. Reps make $60 base salaries and a total of $100k at plan. We're not exactly at the high end of the comp ladder.

My only question is........if you guys were dumb enough to pay that much for us, can you please double my comp package to $200k???

 

Now that you've made all of us at Aspen feel so welcome, it's time to tell you about ourselves. Let's start with sales management.

We're led by the VP of Sales.....we'll call him Bryan Fossybear. Brian hasn't had a date since Noah built his arc, but he has a very strong right handshake. This strong grip was formed by spending Friday nights alone with a Victoria Secret's catalog. Not a bad guy but absolutely no personality. Field rides are a bummer with Bryan because the conversation will be one sided (you talking to yourself).

 

Now we would like to introduce our Eastern Region Manager.......Bill "control freak" Parrishner. Bill is an ex marine that LOVES to have his small ego (along with other small parts) stroked. This brain surgeon once took a dis-liking to someone because of the way his sleeves were rolled. We are not talking "Mr Flexible" here.

Of course Bill didn't have managerial experience before we hired him as a manager but we like em' cheap.

Tell Bill what he wants to hear.......how smart, handsome, how dumb liberals are, etc....and he will leave you alone.

 

Our Western manager is Andy Geek Meek. You're probably expecting me to tell you that Andy had managerial experience before Aspen hired him to be our western manager. Silly you!

Like Bill, Andy was only a sales rep (Ethicon) with no medical managerial experience. He did once serve as a mentor for a training class so we figured that qualified him to become a manager here. Again......we like em' cheap!

Nice guy and he doesn't have the ego of his eastern counterpart but we all view him as completely clueless.

 

Seriously Dude, you have way to much time on your hands. Go out and sell something for christ sake.

 

Thanks Bill. I will make sure that I do that. I will also make sure that my shirt sleeves are rolled to military specifications because that's what selling is about. LOL.

 

I seriously hope this is not what we paid good money for. How unprofessional can someone get? This reeks of buying Mediq all over again.

 

Who gets paid good money??? I have a base salary of $60k and a commission plan targeted at $40k. I know math isn't a strong point with all the old fat reps at Hil Rom but that's a whopping $100k. Our #1 rep last year made.......$120k. I made moe in pharma before this glamorous move to medical sales at Aspen.

 

Professionalism at Hill Rom? Used car sales men make fun of you guys! Looks like these Aspen reps will fit right in with the rest of your crew.

 

From what I've seen, Hill Rom needs to initiate a morning PT program to get some of its fat old reps in shape. At least most of the Aspen people are young and in good physical shape. Hill Rom is like a fat farm.

 

It's too early to tell but I've kind of noticed the same thing. We're young and hungry and they appear to be old and soft.

 

Add arrogant to old and fat!

 

What's the background of the Aspen reps?

 

Most of us came from pharma (why we know about this board) and there are a few Carefusion rejects that were getting ready to be fired over there. They had been selling instruments to the accounts, so it was an easy fit. We're known as the island of misfit carefusion rejects, but Santa never even stops here.

 

Wah wah, you ONLY make $100K/year. I have a B.S degree and work in the shipping department at Aspen making $11/hr. Show a little gratefulness.

 

Obviously there were no classes in ambition taught at your college! Hill-Rom customer service reps make more than $11.00 an hour, maybe you should transfer.

 

How's this working out for you guys?

 

I'm no fan of HR but that's not really fair. Look at the demographics of experienced Clinical Nurses that went into Sales/Consulting. They are a bit older...

 

Well stated!