Complete Employee Disaster

Sold to Madison something or other. Hey, isn't that the sugar daddy management company? Finally, a job that might not be hell on earth.

 

If Phil M is going to be back will Kim be part of the deal? I miss those shoes. Maybe we can get big fat Kevin to come back too? With people like that we are sure to be an even bigger mess.

BTW Azo went bust and all their client's got hosed; just like what will happen here. Shri started another company in Michigan, called Avomeen, he sold that is 2016 and is now running for governor. Hey, if Jessie Ventura can do it why not a snake in a suit.

Maybe Steevie wunder will want to take a shot at Roy Cooper's job?

 

just what we need in Raleigh, some kraut for the sausage fest

 

'Twas the Night Ares Ditched Us

'Twas five months before Christmas, and all 'round the table
Executives sat there, devising a fable
The employee bonus, it wasn't real good
The ELT screwed us the best that they could

Their plan it was simple. They said all last year
"We're on track for bonus, don't worry, don't fear"
They hinted a payout, and acted so smug
Then at the last moment, they pulled out the rug

The truth of low profits came out in November
"But give extra effort from now through December"
But how did we do it with few that remain?
They threatened and strong-armed and caused mental pain

They sent the new VP out to every site
Made everyone work more, from morning to night
Got twenty plus hours, each week, unpaid work
This lead to a much bigger ELT perk

He called to the workers; they came to the room
What could they expect, was it good news or gloom?
It seemed he was angry, his face it turned red
He turned to the workers, and here's what he said

"You're lazy, talk too much, and need to do more
"Ten hours won't cut it, you need to add four
"We monitor cardswipes and add up the time
"For at-home worked hours you get not a dime"

Though spoken by CS, it sounded to me
A message from SH, SK and TD
My one quarter bonus - what I took home sucks
We all know they just got their big bonus bucks

Just how did we do this, with all this workload
A third of the site, through last year, hit the road
I'm sure that the clients, and soon FDA
Will notice the shortcuts we still take today

Just what is expected when jobs go unfilled?
When workers feel threatened, and morale gets killed?
Our future in question, and home life on hold?
Big ELT bonus since Alcrummys sold

The workday had ended, I felt like a rube
My head sunk right down, and I sulked to my cube
I sat in my chair and logged into Café
And spent some time reading what others did say

I searched AAI in all these message boards
Its gone downhill fast with these new overlords
The message was clear to those looking for hire
Stay far far away from this big dumpster fire

"Please, stop" and "The Clown Show", and ask if "World Class?"
One even suggests a new name, "Clammy Ass."
"Barbie dolls" , "what a joke", "Limits and Greed"
My heart and my soul said: its not what I need

I found a new job some weeks after that day
I've been here three months by the middle of May
I go to work happy, not bummed out and tense
The grass is much greener this side of the fence

My story has ended, I hope you enjoyed
I'm sure their new owner is rather annoyed
You know how they got the low price before summer?
The reason begins with the parking lot hummer

Enjoy your retirement
January 8, 2002

 

'Twas the Night Ares Ditched Us

'Twas five months before Christmas, and all 'round the table
Executives sat there, devising a fable
The employee bonus, it wasn't real good
The ELT screwed us the best that they could

Their plan it was simple. They said all last year
"We're on track for bonus, don't worry, don't fear"
They hinted a payout, and acted so smug
Then at the last moment, they pulled out the rug

The truth of low profits came out in November
"But give extra effort from now through December"
But how did we do it with few that remain?
They threatened and strong-armed and caused mental pain

They sent the new VP out to every site
Made everyone work more, from morning to night
Got twenty plus hours, each week, unpaid work
This lead to a much bigger ELT perk

He called to the workers; they came to the room
What could they expect, was it good news or gloom?
It seemed he was angry, his face it turned red
He turned to the workers, and here's what he said

"You're lazy, talk too much, and need to do more
"Ten hours won't cut it, you need to add four
"We monitor cardswipes and add up the time
"For at-home worked hours you get not a dime"

Though spoken by CS, it sounded to me
A message from SH, SK and TD
My one quarter bonus - what I took home sucks
We all know they just got their big bonus bucks

Just how did we do this, with all this workload
A third of the site, through last year, hit the road
I'm sure that the clients, and soon FDA
Will notice the shortcuts we still take today

Just what is expected when jobs go unfilled?
When workers feel threatened, and morale gets killed?
Our future in question, and home life on hold?
Big ELT bonus since Alcrummys sold

The workday had ended, I felt like a rube
My head sunk right down, and I sulked to my cube
I sat in my chair and logged into Café
And spent some time reading what others did say

I searched AAI in all these message boards
Its gone downhill fast with these new overlords
The message was clear to those looking for hire
Stay far far away from this big dumpster fire

"Please, stop" and "The Clown Show", and ask if "World Class?"
One even suggests a new name, "Clammy Ass."
"Barbie dolls" , "what a joke", "Limits and Greed"
My heart and my soul said: its not what I need

I found a new job some weeks after that day
I've been here three months by the middle of May
I go to work happy, not bummed out and tense
The grass is much greener this side of the fence

My story has ended, I hope you enjoyed
I'm sure their new owner is rather annoyed
You know how they got the low price before summer?
The reason begins with the parking lot hummer

Enjoy your retirement
January 8, 2002

 

No great surprise that Ares is trying to spin off Allclammy. It is a nonprofitable mill stone around their corporate necks. The rub will be finding anyone who will buy it, even at a loss. Get out now. If you think life is hard under the current SLT then you will be surprised just how bad things can become when/if this turd is sold.

 

The turd was sold to Ashley Madison.
The ELT is getting their asses wiped.

 

Hmmmm...is the sales to Ashley Madison b/c the ELT is having an affair?

 

They are too in love with themselves and each other to have an affair.
They do love circle jerks and playing leapfrog in the shower.

 

Saw the news about MDP and the sale, as well as the two Madison representatives (Tim and Jason) saying how excited they are about the acquisition. A couple of MBAs, excellent.

Captain Tim sez "bring me another analyst, this one's split", his howdy doodie side kick Jason sez "gee captain do you think you are screwing them too hard?"

BOHICA

All of your hard work will soon be rewarded

 

2

 

Left Alcami at end of March after 10 years of servitude - best thing I have ever done. The place is just not worth it anymore (if it ever was).

 

Will there be any lube this time?

Have you seen the movie Hairspray? I hope they don't make us dance the Madison.

 

Lube, schmube. The crack hounds don't need greasing.
WTF is Ashley Madison going to do with an uninspired group of work zombies?

 

Uhhh

Ashley Madison is a site for dating a Ho, if you want to get laid and not have the wife know about it....Madison Dearborn Partners is an investment banking company. There is a difference. ISN'T THERE???

No I guess not. The lab guys get screwed either way and no one knows.

BOHICA boys. No lube, no reach around and hard.

 

At least if Ashley Madison ran it, you'd know up front that you're going to get screwed.

 

It was interesting back in the FS days. We always struggled and capital was tight but at least we were a team and relatively happy. That all changed when PW came on board, his only goal was to do a deal and get paid. He turned the company into a commodity business, the talent was driven off or left in disgust. SK made it even more of a cluster fuck. Can't wait to see what the new owners do.

 

Since we were sold will we get a new name? Assclowns is already taken.

How about "Fuc-ups-R-us"?

 

We had a meeting about this today. The group was thinking Firehouse Actives.

Steve was pushing the Good Head Chemicals.