Contest (I'm not refering to the one on Seinfield)

Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

Since we're all going to be without a job in the next few weeks, we might as well have some fun. Everyone here has some creativity so let's see who can come up with the best joke/song about Biovail (besides yourself or me)!

 

Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

Q: Why did the Biovail rep stare at the frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?

A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

 

Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I'm telling you why
Doug Squires is coming to town

Rick's makin a list
Scott's checkin it twice
They'll fire your ass
and they won't think twice
cause Doug Squires is comin to town

They know when your out working
They know when you stay home
They know who's goin to stay or go
So be prepare when ya answer your phone

OOHH you better put out
no one cares if you cry
Eugene was thrown out
I'm telling you why
cause Doug Squires is comin to town!!!

 

Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
I told ya so!
I told ya so who?

Hey look it's Mike Goolsby and Diane Johnson

 

Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

Why did the Biovail rep cross the road?

Casue the grass is always greener on the other side!

 

Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

The other day a biovail rep told me of a drug that her company has under development. This drug sounds so promising that I want to suggest to my friends that they consider buying stock in the company.

The drug is called “Gingko Viagra". It’s function is to help you remember what the fuck you are doing

 

Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

LAURA E. IS A BITCH!!

sorry not very good with songs.

 

Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

I think we should try the Seinfield contest. Starting now.

 

Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

I'm Out!!!!!

 

Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

Q: Hey, why is that Biovail can't get any formulary coverage for their products?

A: What the hell is Biovail?

 

Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

Q: Have you seen the videoconference of DS and his 2005 Biovail Business Plan?

A: No sound, except for wind, then Tumbleweed blowing over skeletons in the desert.

 

Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

Wait a minute! Don't get sooooo worried about what may happen. It's only one word--"off". If I said "hey next week we're all getting laid!", everyone would be happy. So look on the bright side. They're only adding the word off. Either way, we're all going to get screwed! I can't wait to get laid...off.

 

Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

[ QUOTE ]
Wait a minute! Don't get sooooo worried about what may happen. It's only one word--"off". If I said "hey next week we're all getting laid!", everyone would be happy. So look on the bright side. They're only adding the word off. Either way, we're all going to get screwed! I can't wait to get laid...off.

[/ QUOTE ]
What!? I don't get it!

 

Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

Q: How did herpes get out of the hospital?

A: On crotches!!

 

Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

Sung to: “The Beverly Hillbillies” theme

Intro:

Come and listen to a story about a company that’s dead.
A poor excuse for products, barely kept employees fed.
Then one day while promoting the P.L.A.C.E. kits.
“Destroy everything!” cause an investigation hits.

Fraud, that is, shady practices, FDA probe.

Well the first thing you know ol’ Eugene is in the clear,
He tells Smith and Keefer “Lets move away from here!”
Said, “The Northeast is the place we ought to be.”
So they loaded up the truck and moved to New Jersey.

The Garden State, that is. Nuclear waste, open cesspools.

Ending:

Well now its time to say goodbye to half the employees.
Eugene can’t afford our loss, especially with no hockey.
You're all invited back again to this locality.
But you’ll need to be employed by a different pharma company.

Layoffs, that is. Set a spell. Take your shoes off.

Don’t come back now, y'hear?

 

Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

[ QUOTE ]
Sung to: “The Beverly Hillbillies” theme

Intro:

Come and listen to a story about a company that’s dead.
A poor excuse for products, barely kept employees fed.
Then one day while promoting the P.L.A.C.E. kits.
“Destroy everything!” cause an investigation hits.

Fraud, that is, shady practices, FDA probe.

Well the first thing you know ol’ Eugene is in the clear,
He tells Smith and Keefer “Lets move away from here!”
Said, “The Northeast is the place we ought to be.”
So they loaded up the truck and moved to New Jersey.

The Garden State, that is. Nuclear waste, open cesspools.

Ending:

Well now its time to say goodbye to half the employees.
Eugene can’t afford our loss, especially with no hockey.
You're all invited back again to this locality.
But you’ll need to be employed by a different pharma company.

Layoffs, that is. Set a spell. Take your shoes off.

Don’t come back now, y'hear?

[/ QUOTE ]

BRILLIANT

 

Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

Thanks!

 

Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

The creativity on this post is exceptional. I'm actually surprised at the wit and intelligence. See, we do have good people here!

 

Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

I try.

 

Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

I laughed all the way through that... while singing it in my head. Thanks.