Husband's PORN Habit

I'm pleased to see people stepping forward and making the point that erotica has a healthy and rightful place in the American home. For too long people have equated any thing other than Presbyterian, vanilla sex as an evil or as something not found in real love.

We aren't married but she is my live-in S.O. and we feel we have a more committed relationship than many, if not most, married couples. We watch erotic but not degrading porn together. We've explored some of the things described in 50 Shades of Grey in a healthy and playful manner. We plan further exploration and bask in the excitement brought on by the thought of that together on a regular basis.

We've made our own list of 'rules' a la Christian Grey and Anastasia. We copied the list of 'Do both consent to' items thay checked off and we each answered them together in each others' company while looking each other straight in the eye. We have a copy of ours tucked away. We have our safewords, we know each other intimately and we trust each other intimately far beyond your average boundaries of trust. I love her and she loves me. We are completely secure and looking forward to a fun, loving life together as we enjoy the wonders of nature with each other and no subject is beyond our range of allowable discussion.

The difference between porn & erotica is like the difference between an old, banged up Ford Fiesta and a brand new BMW. We know we have the best and are loving it. My sincere wish is that you can make the '3rd down conversion' with this man from porn to classy erotica shared between the 2 of you.

I wish you the best.

 

I really like this thread!

 

Wow, love all the advice! It amazes me at the "he must not be getting it at home" claims. He could get it 7 days a week, wild, bj's, anal, etc and yet he still has to go back to the porn and ex-affair chick look-alike nude pic's. No I am not a pig, no big butt, in fact I actually get hit on when we are out. So I don't think anything is wrong with me. I have taken pretty good care of myself. The problem is him. I enjoy watching porn together, in fact it turns me on but when he violates me by what he did and then looks up nude pic's of chicks the look like the chick he cheated on me with I got a problem with that. He actually is selfish in the sack and is all about him. I am honestly not shocked at some of the responses. Gotta be males that wanna blame the chick for not giving enough or letting themselves go. Such a double standard. Do some of you men ever think how you would feel if your wife had sex with another man or had his unit in her mouth? could you move on with her? Or have you taken care of yourself? lol

 

Is that you Vag? You can't hide your cadence even when you try to sound like a woman.

 

Nope, don't agree. I love degrading violent porn and I like being tied up, whipped, written on, called dirty names and also watching stuff like that. I doubt I could even get wet watching some lovey dovey B.S. Well, unless the guy was really, really hung and hot and maybe made her hurt just a little. LOL

 

My husband loves it. Look, some people just cannot be with one person it drives them insane. Too bad you may have realized too late that your husband has other interests. So, he gets a lot of sex from you. You ARE still attractive. He DID cheat and he likes to look at porn with images of girls that look just like that one. Actually, I think this is a mid life crisis. Your husband might feel his youth slipping away and feeling less than sexual or feel his sex drive going away and it scares him. So, he looks at porn to make "it" all go away and bring that moment in time when he felt the rush with his AM. Actually, I get it. That is what I do just not to the same extent. He is not going to stop unless he wants to or really thinks he is going to lose you over it and even then, he has some emotional issues going on. It is not about you.

 

You have got to be kidding. . . you are asking me what I think of watching porn together? Why? I am a crazy bitch. As far as I'm concerned, what two or three or four consenting adults want to do in their home or even outside, or in the park or the car is perfectly fine with me. LOL

 

Lips, you are spinning your wheel, LOL! I challenge you, Vag and anyone else to be online the same time I am! I'm ready. Set a date and a time! Bring it!

 

This is the equivalent of advising someone whose husband is a raging alcoholic to mix up a pitcher of martinis and share it with him.

There's lots of ways to spice up your sex life without resorting to porn, whether you want to term it hardcore or "erotica".

 

I'm just as much of a buzz kill as reality is. You can deny reality, but you still have to deal with it sooner or later.

Keep changing things up, locations, positions, order of sexual acts, indulge the senses in different ways etc.

All it takes is a little imagination and some thought. You don't need explicit porn.

 

I'm an intelligent, mature adult who is interested in effective solutions to problems. That's who I am to judge.

The topic of this thread is porn addiction. Like any other addiction, more of the addictive substance is the last thing people need.

Lot's of people can use some porn and not get into big trouble, just like some people can drink and not get into big trouble. But people with addictive personalities should do neither.

Who knows if the OP is legit? It doesn't really matter, the question put on the table is still the same. I'm concerned about what is best for the long term health and happiness of those concerned as individuals and as a family. I'm concerned about what is best for the marriage and for the kids.

A guy with a porn addiction isn't doing himself and certainly not his wife and kids any favors.

If you are looking for a "go with the flow" "anything goes" kind of guy. I'm not it. I'm into reality, not political correctness. Porn ain't a good thing. It hurts marriages far more than it's ever helped them. I'm into judging BEHAVIOR, not necessarily people, but judge I will because I care about people and I'm not going to just stand by as they skip their way to disaster.