I LOVE CONVATEC!!!!

This is the BEST company to work for!!!!!!!!!! We have the BEST products!!!!!!!!! Who else out there LOVES this company???!!!!! Let's hear from YOU!!!

 

I do, too!!

I love my RSM (especially as he's always concerned about my medical needs providing me with a thorough sales colonoscopy whenever we work together). I don't need too much
Go Lightly to clean me out prior to the colonoscopy as I vomit numerous times the night before we meet for our fun day together. Vomiting and copious amounts of diarrhea sure make it easier for my manager to examine me better.

Our products are the Best and I sell huge quantities year over year for less money because quotas are purposely high to support the hundreds of loving bosses and leaders I worship. These leaders concoct new ways to lose huge pieces of market share making it possible for me to hopefully regain business previously lost by an idea from one of these Convatec Einsteinian Thinkers. Many of these Thinkers now populate the highest echelons of Convatec leadership. We are so lucky to have so many intellectual giants in Skillman, NJ

Convatec is a great place to enhance your writing skills since I am always sending our resumes and cover letters hoping to find an even more wonderful company to work for. With the amount of practice I'm getting writing cover and thank you letters, I am known as "Longfellow" to the other TM members on my happy and cheerful sales team. I help all of them, too, with their creative writing skills.

Almost time for my last glass of Go Lightly as I meet my manager at 8 this morning for another sales colonoscopy...hope I'm thoroughly cleaned out in time as I want my RSM to be able to clearly and intricately see all my flaws and make sure there are no sales polyps impeding my sales abilities. I love my RSM! I love ConvaTec!

 

Please don't take this the wrong way, but if you are "always sending resumes and thank you letters", yet you are not receiving offers, it seems there are some personal issues that others must find objectionable about you. You would be best served to identify them if you want to move on...or you will be stuck here.

 

And I love you, too!! I love Convatec, I really can't leave, I love Big Brother!!.....

My RSM's deep inspection of me was so wonderful yesterday that I'm taking a hiatus from "letter writing"...I can't wait for the next "sales polyp" review!

 

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I love my RSM in Texas!!!!!!!!!!! I love the fact that I have satisfied him once again after our time together!!!! I love my colonoscopy, how he rams me hard about numbers and tells me how much OPPORTUNITY I have!!!! OHHHHH how he pleasures me with the sense of purpose I need to have to keep accepting his words of wisdom!!! The same HARD wisdom year after year, never changing, always about how I am under him and the endless lack of satisfaction!!!! Make it hurt, make me beg you to stop sending those emails that are suppose to somehow inspire me!! Ohhhhh how I love our conversations and how you light me on fire with your unmotivational speeches about the glory days when you were all that!!!! mmmmmmmm Oh please tell me once again EVERYTHING I am doing wrong!!! Please tell me how GREAT you USE TO BE!!!! And how many awards you have won!!! Oh, To many to count!!! Please Fill my funnel with your AWESOMENESS!!!! MMMMMMMM!!!

 

Oh, how your comments make me moist and "tingle"! And I thought my Scoping was just delightful--I envy you! Against my better judgment, I am leaving this humanitarian enterprise and taking my tingling tail elsewhere...another wound care company just wouldn't take NO from me. At least I'll have so many wonderful and delicious memories of all those d-e-e-e-p Scope encounters as I begin to displace Convatec business in my new sales role at a wonderful company the Skillman Hegemons all loathe...(a secret!). Bye Bye

 

Why has the Convatec board gone quiet these past months? Do those of you still here "LOVE CONVATEC"? Perhaps...Or have so many people left that those who remain have become used to the new Culture? Perhaps...Stockholm Syndrome?--Nordic and Avista Masters?...Hmmm..

We know that certain people (MD for one) have gained promotion and prominence at convatec by destroying the careers of others. Convatec is certainly blessed with far too many of these parasites who have ruined others to better themselves. But I guess no one cares anymore what goes on here. RIP the OLD ConvaTec we once revered..."You Can't Go Home Again" they say....

 

More appropriately, we should call this thread I LOVED CONVATEC!!!! Many of us once did.

I was close with about 50 tenured TMs who are now gone (including me recently!). If upper mgmt was not as dim-witted as they are (Dave J and BB especially) they would have cared that the vast majority of us left because of the sometimes cruel and often incompetent and dumb RSMs we reported to (a few stupid area VPs didn't help either). Convatec has become a very effective employment agency for its many competitors. I can't tell you how many of us now work for Convatec's competitors--I actually spent a lot of time interviewing and sending resumes months before I left to ensure I got with a better run company company (did not want to land with another company as awful as convatec---and so far, so good).

My former Convatec territory has become a shambles as the new TM is inept at retaining business (some of which I've converted to the products I now sell!)--what a hoot observing this person's bewilderment! I loved the OLD Convatec--which actually started turning ruthless against its own people even before BMS divestiture--especially the days when we were ably led by Gary R when respect for all Convatec people was the core belief emanating from Skillman. How far we've seen this company fall is sad...good luck to those of you who still remain and give a damn trying to reverse Convatec's slow demise.

 

I met some of this company's upper management (I won't call it leadership by any means) at a recent healthcare investor conference. Dave, the CEO, is arguably the dumbest lame-duck CEO of a billion $ enterprise I've ever met. Jorgen seemed entirely scattered and I feel sorry for those that think this guy is going to save the day. As a result, I have no idea what Nordic and Avista were thinking, besides this company may be targeting a fairly lucrative market, given the aging world population. I certainly would not have backed the obviously incompetent personnel I met and isn't that the first rule in private equity (i.e. invest in good mgmt)???

 

Dave is a nice guy, but yes, a boob, long protected by Mr. Restani--and now an inept leader who can not fill the void left by Gary's departure-- a perfect example of the PETER PRINCIPLE at its worst. Let's hope the foreign owners send this guy on a long cruise so he can focus on what he truly loves: his Sextant. We're stuck with a numbskull until wiser minds "wise up"

 

ConvaTec will soon be sold, the private investors have run out of patience. Crap management and a culture of look after yourself. The worst place I have ever worked, and so glad I am out of there!

 

Your wish has been granted!

 

WHAT?!? You mean this moron has been sent packing...er, I mean sailing? Did they at least buy Popeye a new and bigger sextant?? HURRAH!!!!

 

Can BB, LT, MD, and DP be far behind??? Hallalujah.....one down, a bunch to follow!

 

I have been reading the posts about Convatec and it seems like a horrible place to work. How would you compare it to being an Oxygen rep? Which one do you think would be worse? Keep in mind some companies start oxygen reps out at $28,000 plus commission and no car.

 

Barton has to be next. Major underperformance contributor for years. New leader won't have to dig very deep to put the pieces together.

 

BB should be next...with a lttle luck Convatec can regain its lost prestige in short order. A culture of Family (long DEAD here), Unity, Camaraderie, and Pride will return. It's just that a few more of the useless need to go: BB and MD out with the trash would be wonderful next steps and very much speed us toward needed healing--we are a mess thanks to these guys and others recently removed. A few Ruthless Sociopathic Managers (RSMs), let's hope, will also join KG.

 

Remember the San Diego NSM when The Ronald and StedMed presented Popeye with his Sextant? Three years ago was it? Now The Ronald, Stedmed, and DJ are all gone-but at what cost to convatec North America? Remember at this same San Diego NSM when Steve F was presented with a gift (the box was enormous!) as he was being demoted to a gig in Europe? He was gone from Convatec a few months later working for another wound care company. How many of us has he recruited? Too bad we got rid of Mr. forden and kept StedMed and The Ronald as long as we did. Those two clunkers along with Popeye sure put us on the road to ruin.

Now we are Popeye-free--our new CEO has a few more parasites to disopose of: MD, BB, anyone else? Are there any RSMs needing a new job? RH maybe? Msaybe look into the past actions of demoted RSMs like KG. Under this disgraceful person's "leadership" at least 12 TMs either fled the company, were fired, or transferred to other Convatec divisions to escape her-- and the NYC Region was destroyed as a result then broken up and absorbed by other Regions. And this fallen RSM is still here as a TM. Why? To our new CEO: look into the past actions of people still on our payroll who don't deserve to be. Remake Convatec into a better place than it ever was but start getting rid of those people still here who were and are responsible for our current sorry state. We eagerly await the better Convatec you envision.

 

PIP

If a territory manager gets placed on a PIP.....the Regional Sales Manager should be placed on one too because they did a poor job negotiating contracts, providing leadership, and resources. It should be a two sided PIP, or else it is wrongful termination with possible discrimination. HR is not your friend. If placed on a PIP you can set an appointment with your state Department of Labor and Wages as well as, your state EEOC. Get advice from these govt folks and dont discuss it with the Convatec terrorists. Remember......Sadam, Bin Laden, and Gadafi were all brought to justice by the US govt. Eventually these corporate terrorists will be too. All of our quotas were just doubled with no justification and now theres a PIP clause in the comp plan so they dont have to pay commissions while on a PIP. The Regional Sales Manager and AVP shouldnt get paid commmisions either if they are truly committed to your performsnce improvement. A PIP if it has sincere meaning should be placed on all who are involved including the RSM and AVP. Otherwise it is unfair to point a terroristic loaded weapon at just the Territory Manager. One sided PIPs are corporate crimes against humanity. There should be no more of these RSMs covering up what a poor job they are doing by utilizing PIPs. One more thing......before you can join an employment class action suit, you have to go through your state EEOC first. So if things seem fishy....its best to quiety meet with these govt entities first.

 

Questions from a newbie

What do the sales AVPs do?
What does that guy Randy do?