Petya

Discussion in 'Merck IT' started by anonymous, Jun 30, 2017 at 11:09 AM.

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  1. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    "We confirm our company's computer network was compromised today as part of a global hack."

    Merck CIO Clark Golestani went on to say, "I've experienced unauthorized backdoor penetration before and I know what to do here."

    Merck CEO Kenny Frazier hinted at the possibility that having seen a demonstration of the software and specifically the ransom payment workflow, the leadership team may be considering a $50 bn deal with the coders over the next ten years for ERP systems and related consultancy services.

    An internal Merck communication seen by this reporter warned employees that the company was the target of a ransomware attack and asked that they only watch vanilla porn at work and save the really weird stuff for when they get home on their own network or use their personal cellphone and cellular network.

    IT employees were also asked to refrain from posting Picard double facepalm memes on social media.

    We contacted the Merck IT Global Innovation Center for further comment and were told to expect their response by 2019 at the earliest.

    Initial estimates indicate the Merck IT sales teams having no access to IT as a result of this prolonged incident could lead to a 25% increase in sales this quarter.
     

  2. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    The real question is will Frazier take overall responsibility for not performing due diligence and patching this along with the rest of the IT industry back in March or will this be the straw that broke the camel's back causing him to throw Golestani under the bus and hire a CIO that knows what they are doing?

    Watch this space. When the initial panic is over, the post incident analysis begins and the share price begins to drop, misdirection by mandating every employee complete an hour of online training about the risks of malware won't cut it here.
     
  3. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    we were told it was a targeted spearfishing attack by email. the subject of the email was 'job offer' and it was opened by 5 out of every 10 employees. the other 5 couldnt get to their email because of the ransomware. lol.
     
  4. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    I hope you wear a Trojan when you post here.
     
  5. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    The band is still playing even though the ship is sinking. They already tried to replace CG; nobody wanted the job.
     
  6. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Hey Rich how are you?
     
  7. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    At least no critical data was lost and production was not impacted. It was strange that the business continuity plan was to run around like your hair is on fire then send everybody home.
     
  8. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    You're asking if a lawyer will publicly admit negligence?!
     
  9. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    haha have you considered running for congress? sure, only a few lunch orders were lost.

     
  10. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Prague using MEDoc for taxes, right?
     
  11. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Anyone else updating their resume and calling headhunters Monday morning?
     
  12. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Follow the money. How many times did we pay the ransom before someone I won't name external to Merck pointed out the key was randomly generated.
     
  13. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    UA
     
  14. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Can you hear that Ken? That's the sound of thousands of our brothers and sisters in IT that you pink-slipped laughing at you.
     
  15. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    i call bs. no way could we get the vp level approval for a $300 IT spend that quick.
     
  16. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    June 30 - FURTHER UPDATE ON CYBER ATTACK

    We have made good progress in our response to the June 27 global cyber attack. We have implemented business continuity plans and continue to ship orders and meet patients' needs.

    We and our external partners see no indication that the company's data have been compromised.

    [Compromised: to expose or make vulnerable to danger, suspicion, scandal, etc.; jeopardize. Sounds like it was compromised to me]

    Government authorities working with us have confirmed that the malware responsible for the attack contained a unique combination of characteristics that enabled it to infect company systems despite installation of recent patches.

    [unique characteristics right. It capitalized on the years of ineptitude, malfeasance and strategic failure compounded by poor investment in IT infrastructure and systems in addition to years of downsizing the IT workforce whilst pushing more of the day-to-day ops to the lowest common denominators of the IT labor market each year]
     
  17. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Note that is not a denial we failed to install the patches on all our systems but an admission the ransomware hit systems with the patches installed as well as those without.
     
  18. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    M.E.Doc updates installed in Production without screening or testing.
     
  19. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    +1 here. Joining in the laughing with you. You get what you pay for.