Sales rep excuses

C’mon HQ folks - let’s play along. We’ve all heard some crazy ass excuses from sales reps over the years. Here’s your chance to share them and once again prove how lame they really are.

My all time favorite was a sales rep in the OBU last year claimed they were months behind on their expense reports because the meds their Dr gave them made her have anxiety every time she started her expense report! Nut job and lazy ass rep.

Time to share yours!

 

My dog ate my call notes

 

Had a rep in the NBU tell their RD they would appreciate them not riding with them anymore b/c evertime she did he would get the shits. Hahaha - stupid reps

 

The IC portal was hacked by the Russians so Q4 goals are delayed.

 

I can’t make.my first call till 10:00AM due to my yoga class and my last call is @2:00PM because I need to pick up the kids and take them to dance class. Tough job!

 

My territory is so small I can make 8-10 calls in that time. So no slacking, just don't my job efficiently and effectively. Work smarter not harder

 

Seriously, i can relate to that anxiety from reports. Its like their goal at HQ to make them as tedious and reptitive as humanly possible.

 

" I'm unmotivated to sell because __________"

Just fill in the blank. Christ... if I was given SHPG stock every time I've heard that line, I'd be as rich as FO in the Takeda sale!!!!! I'd be able to afford year-round surfing in the Canary Islands.

 

Favorite excuses from management

1) our stock price dip is due to artificial intelligence that is telling investors what to do, as we at shire are lumped in with Teva
2) we are analyzing the data and want to get you the most recent data available
3) there was conputer glitch in the calculation of goal
4) there was a computer glitch in the publishing of your goal/IC reports
5) talk with your RD....
6) we are listening to the sales force and putting together the best course of action
7) we value your input, and are currently working on different scenarios
8) gang, it’s buainess as usual— it’s all smokescreens from your hcp. So get out there and put the patients first
9) we are analyzing the overall market and watching it closely, so w can align the IC plan to closely match the market
10) lets have a WebEx training on that shortly

 

Things never change, we have nothing new (ask iiris is not the savior), upper mgmt and home office is so disconnected it's sad. Transparency is non existent.

 

" I'm unmotivated to sell because of lack of transparency "

Guess that person above is 1 share richer

 

My numbers are down because of coverage. Love that one

 

“My goal is too high”.

 

I THOUGHT BY BEING A SHIRE REP, I WOULD BE INCENTIVIZED BY THE NUMBER OF SANDWICHES AND PIZZAS DELIVERED! NOBODY TOLD ME I NEEDED TO CONVINCE DOCTORS TO PRESCRIBE SHIRE DRUGS!! THIS IS NOT FAIR AND I AM LATE FOR MY PEDICURE APPOINTMENT AT 3:00!!!

 

I’m sorry, I thought I could use my company car as a Uber driver to make extra money.

 

Unmotivated to sell because it’s over. Shire will soon be over.
Unmotivated to sell because we’re too busy looking for a new job!

 

If I don’t get my way or suck at my job - I just blame leadership. Works every time.

Sincerely,
Every rep at Shire

 

I am taking an office day because it is too hot to wear my suit while making sales calls aka pizza deliveries.

 

When the whole company questions the leadership and their motives, I guess the whole company is wrong? Look in the mirror. Shire has blown since 2013 when Angus left.

 

I can’t hit my goals or my CPA because my phone won’t stop with Uber ride requests.