Uncle Everett's Therapy Corner

Discussion in 'Everett Labs' started by anonymous, May 12, 2018 at 10:07 AM.

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  1. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Dear Konserned in Kazakhstan.....Or should I refer to you as NJ.

    I am confused??? Why the sudden attack on Uncle Everett? He has been only supportive when others discuss how you are not HR trained. He defend your honor when asked about the lack of college degree.

    He also supported you when you laid off the pregnant derm rep on the last round of layoffs.

    Exeltis is the dictionary (that's a book that gives us proper spelling of words) definition of insanity. You have only 2 people on the derm team that were with the company when it was purchased. One of those 2 are related through marriage.

    Shouldn't you be kissing up to the new BOSS Hogg? That should be your focus and not slamming Uncle E

    Peace and Love:rolleyes:,

    Protective in Pittsburgh
  2. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Hi Raw,

    Thank you for having the courage to share your medical condition. I too like to roleplay with my favorite lady. Only I dress as a Bullfighter from Spain. I recently picked up a Traje de luces on my last trip to see to Madrid. Unfortunately the outfit was a size to small in the crouch. I too experience a rash after a night of Ol'e.

    In regards, to Neocera not being covered, don't worry about it. It is not getting covered for ANY patients. I suggest that you get a prescription of Epiceram. It is a way better product.

    Your challenge is that even that might not be covered on the crumby insurance plan. You can always go to the local Walmart in Roswell and get a tub of good old Vaseline. That'll do the trick.

    Have fun this week and May the Force of Exeltis Be With YOU!

    Unkle E
  3. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Hola Raw,

    I too like to cosplay. If you ever want to meet a HANsome SOLO, I can visit you in Roswell.
    I will even let you play with my blaster.

    The only thing is that it has to be this week. I am getting shipped out to a galaxy far, far away soon.

    Use the force and call me...

    Love ,
    Fernando, I MEAN Han.
  4. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Hi my name is Scout (my friends call me scooter) and I from Mobile, AL and I'm interested in joinging yur company.

    I know about you from Mama. I am her 8the kid of 11kids. She just loved Vitafol. Mama always said they was 2 things that was important:
    1) always have Medicaid pay for the Vitafol baby pills
    2) breastfeed the kids till they be 7 years old

    Iam currently working as a assistant to the assistant manager at the local Piggly Wiggly. Mama says there aint no future in that job. I seen your posting for a salesman in Mobile. Who can I call to get me an application.

    I'm a real good salesman. At the Piggly Wiggly I got employee of the month for selling out on the Cajun flavored pig's feet.

    Mama had one question. Do you have to have a high school degree to git this jOb?
  5. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Dear Uncle Everett,
    I need your help...I started with Exeltis a while ago having only some contract sales experience which we all know is a joke on all levels. The thing is, I have been a failure everywhere I have gone and have been a failure here as well. Its hard to focus on work when I just keep having delusional thoughts about everyone in my company all the time. And now, to make things worse, my mean manager is asking me to work more than 4 hours a day! Do you think being a total failure, being delusional, and only wanting to work about 1 to 2 hours a day would qualify me to work in managed care? are there any openings?

    Desperate in Dallas
  6. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Hi Scooter,
    Thanks for your interest in this GRRREEEAAAATTT company. Congrats on earning employee of the month. I love Piggly Wiggly. It is a great place to purchase friend pork grinds, moon pie and a RC Cola to wash it down. Our HR director keeps a case of moon pies hidden under the desk.

    Education is over rated. Here at Exeltis we value passion and hard work over a high school degree. I HIGHLY encourage you to send in an application for our pharma sales opening.

    Don't be ashamed with your inability to spell. Our HR director gives out a Speak & Spell to every new hire!

    Best of luck and Roll Tide!

    Unckle E
  7. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Greetings Dallas,
    I am glad that your sent a question into our thread. I am sorry to hear that you feel like a failure. Here at Exeltis, we desire EVERYONE to be treated with CARE and COMPASSION.

    It concerns me that you have a mean manager. Gosh, I am confused as to why your boss wants you to work past 4 hours. Most of our reps in WH only work from 10am to 2pm. They often time make 3 office visits and call on 12 HCPS.

    The next time your manager acts like a BULLY, you tell him that Uncle E gave you permission to seek out solitude and comfort in your SAFE PLACE. Within the sacred space of our company, we strive to PROTECT all employees. That'll set 'em straight.

    Cheer up...I encourage you to get in your fleet car, drive to the nearest BarBQ joint and get a large stacks of ribs. It'll turn that frown upside down!

    Be sure to put it on your expense report. You DESERVE it!

    Your CARING Friend,

    Uncle E
  8. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    What up Unk,

    Yo Yo Yo....This is B-Rad straight from da BU. That's MaliBU .

    I got sumtin' to say, and I need the world to hear it. I'm a lyricologist.

    I can rap about anything. "Shrink, shrink. Blinkity-blink. Tried to make me think. Why am I still working for this crazy company"

    I was speaking to my homey MB representing the WH in the HQ. Me and my dog sometimes get on the phone and we have ourself an Ole Skool rep battle.

    MB is always telling me how great this place is. I keep telling him RUN, B!TCH! EXELTIS GONNA KIIILLLLL YOU! He won't listen.

    I'm about to bounce outta this here crap camp. I just finished my new album called WHAT"S MY NAME and you can download it on iTunes.

    Here is a little taste:
    My name is B-rad. Not Robbie van Winkle. I like my lattes non-fat and don't fo-get the sprinkle.

    My question is before I quit, can I send out a mass email to the field encouraging them to download my new music? And do I have to pay off my company credit card when I quit? I charged the cost of the album to the company card

    Peace Out ....

    B-Rad...Malibu's most wanted
  9. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Bravo to you B-rad. Congrats on completing your GRAMMY worthy new album WHAT'S MY NAME.
    The first song, MaliBOOTY brought me to tears. You eloquently captured the moment when your composed:

    If you ain't got no booty then you gotta go home
    But if you got a booty shawty show me yo thong

    I am so proud of your ingenuity. As a founder, I feel it is only appropriate for Exeltis to pay the cost of this album.

    Do not leave us B-rad. Let's have a rap battle between you and MB. After you wipe da floor with your fresh lyrics, we then can have an album listening party.

    Our HR director wants to get involved. She has a good deal on where we can purchase moon pies and Cajun flavored pig's feet for your album dropping party.

    What a party we will have in Florham Park.
  10. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Dear Uncle E-

    They didn't really get rid of a pregnant rep did they????? It's a WH company with PNV's-providers that write Vitafol branded would go crazy if they knew how this company treated women!!!! It shocks me that upper management continues to make decisions that are actually hurtful to employees. Hoping that the new company leader actually cares about doing the right thing for employees/people in general.

    Just Shocked
  11. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    I enjoy reading this thread. Exeltis is in need of humor in this dark hour.

    The fact is that Exeltis DID layoff a pregnant women in their last round of dermatology layoffs. This rep, along with the others that were laid off, got 1 month of severance due to the fact that they were employed only a year.

    I too see the irony of a female HR director who lays off pregnant women and then gives them a crumby severance. What do you expect from a director that has no college degree.

    I would love for the new CEO to ask her to explain that move. If the sales are so poor, why is she allowed to have a company vehicle? As you are cleaning our coorporate, she needs to be at the top of your list to go.

    These facts needs to sink into all of the new hire reps on the dermatology team. When they lay you off (and you WILL be laid off this year), you will get 1 month. Also, your bonus (good luck on getting a decent bonus) will be proratted.

    good luck
  12. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Dear Uncle Everett,

    A few of us women are thinking about going on STRIKE this summer. Why? For a multitude of problems.

    1) We feel that we should be able to wear our skirts as short as possible. We also want the "right" not to wear undergarments.

    2) We want to be given the "right" to a coffee break. One at 10-10:45am and the other from 3-3:45 pm. We would ask that you budget $20 per day per rep for Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts. We want the freedom to choose the coffee house. Right now we feel it is weird to go to Starbucks and smell the homeless.

    3) We want to have the "right" to kick our male managers in their small ba!!s. How dare they look at my cleavage! We feel it is self protection to kick them.

    If these demands are not met, we will go on strike next week (after Memorial Day)

    #feeling NPowerd
  13. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    I think Uncle Everett is in Ireland. He’s been quiet for a few days. :D
  14. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Given Exeltis is in this state of crisis and imment death... what should the Exeltis Theme Song be?

    Please submit your entries!
  15. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    Thank you for thinking about me....I have been oversees. Last weekend, your favorite Uncle had to make a trip oversees to attend a special wedding of my niece Meghan.