10. Not since Greg Schofield has any VP had nice hair. 9. Fewer national meetings mean fewer chances to "hook-up" with hot chicks from training. 8. Novartis CIA agreement only seen as temporary substitute for water-boarding. 7. Trans-gender, minority, left-handed Beastiality-loving employee resource group is now full and no longer accepting new members. 6. With fewer RAM/PKAM positions, worthless DM's have no career plans. 5. Bad IC goals no longer worth using the "knee pad" approach to selling. 4. 10am webinars are a major conflict with discounted tee times. 3. Revenue from the "ADMN ASSTS GONE WILD" videos didn't generate as much revenue as expected 2. Rege Simon has finally refused to seal one more damn UPS envelope And the #1 reason its time to leave Novartis... 1. The only motivational speaker who would accept our invitation was Jerry Sandusky.
