Everyone knows ACIP members wake up each morning intent on doing cannonballs into their giant pools of pharma cash. And let’s not forget the saintly greedy, corner-cutting doctors who moonlight as brand ambassadors, plus the perfectly programmed robot reps faithfully handing out glossy pamphlets (and maybe a few yacht keys). Sure, a couple of life-saving medicines manage to squeak through now and then, but hey—why let that spoil the grand narrative of self-interest and corporate back-patting?