The Spectrum of Employment

The Spectrum of Employment


Stage 1 - Stranger in a Strange Land

The first thing you notice is that you don’t fit in, unless you are from the subcontinent. Irvine has a strong Indian community and it shows. This is in no way a criticism of the country or the people, it is just a fact.


Stage 2 - The Messiah

People are soooo glad to see you. They act like you are going to save the world single-handedly. They project all manner of messianic powers to you, sort of like Barac Obama the first-time candidate. You start to wonder if you are the only person in the place with a clue, or if people are really this desperate to meet someone new, or if in fact you have been given divine powers by simply walking through the door. It feels good for about 10 minutes, then a little scary, then pretty creepy.


Stage 3 - The Stories

You start to hear stories about this person or that person. Prior employees thoroughly incompetent and fully vilified. You buy in of course - why not I’m the Messiah and I can fix anything. But the stories become more bizzare and concern begins to creep in. He left after 2 months? The whole department quit, got fired. A coup?


Stage 4 - Pankaj!

Pankaj is not a real person, she is a metaphor. A metaphor for why small family businesses make the rest of us crazy. She is a nice person, very pleasant; and likely good at something. What she is good at you never figure out. At first you assume that others recognize the incompetence and are doing something about it. Next you rail against her existence at the company - how can this person be getting paid. Then you find out she is family - ah. And there are more, many more.


Stage 5 - Commiseration

You take a chance and talk to someone about your observations and find out you are not alone. Unless someone is incompetent or has no other options (read H1B) they see the same thing. They laugh and chuff and say things like “I am getting out of here as soon as I can” and you are pretty sure you’ve made a mistake. But you are only 2 months in so maybe it’s just a bad day.


Stage 6 - Focus, Gratitude, Focus

Fuck it. I’ll just ignore the bullshit and focus on the work. There is good honest work to be done here and I am sure that I can rise above the weirdness and do my job, make an important contribution to the patients that we ultimately serve, and everything will be fine.


I’m happy to have a job that pays well in a nice place (OK Irvine is a shit hole but Laguna and Dana Point are close by) and to be fortunate enough to be healthy and working, unlike so many less fortunate than me.


I’ll just focus on the work...right.


Stage 7 - It’s Not Me

It’s them - it’s him. This place really is fucked up. There is no way around it. The sloppy work, disrespect for quality and the patients that we ultimately serve is just overwhelming. I have seen things done and said and decisions made here that I have never seen before or imagined could happen in the 20+ years that I have been in this business. It’s not me - this place it a mess and I NEED TO GET OUT.


Stage 8 - Dante’s Depths

Monday you lock yourself away

By Wednesday it's all you can do to come into the office.

On Thursday you actively hope that you get fired.

Every day you hate dealing with everyone around you a little bit more.

Every day you hate yourself a little bit more. You feel your energy, your desire, and your soul being sucked out of you.

Weekends have become not a time for enjoyment of the life and family that you have worked so hard to build, but rather a brief respite from the constant assault on your health. You wonder about your integrity. Why am I putting on weight? The weekend is 48 hours of therapy that allows you to face Monday without ending up in jail or the morgue.

You are now at the fork in the road. Resign the position and get your life back, or resign you life and become a Zombie.


Stage 9 - Resignation

You finally had enough. Enough berating, bullying, nepotism, funky smells, the stupid plastic tables, the monthly all hands debacles, or maybe you couldn’t watch yourself slip into further despair. You screw up the courage to disappoint your spouse or maybe the only person at the office that you respect. You don’t have a job lined up but you just can't take it any more. So you go in and quit and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Today you just have a stiff drink and thank god you are out of the nightmare.


Stage 10 - Kill Me Now.

Well you made it. You got fired. And you got a little severance. It cost you 2 clicks on the self-loathing scale but you couldn’t just walk away without another job. Too much pride or too many bills or you did not want to frighten the spouse. But now it's finally over. He put a bullet in your head and you never felt better. Weird how good it feels when someone stops beating on you with a hammer.


You drive out of the parking lot at 5:05 after being escorted to the front door and a wave of happiness consumes you as you realize that you’ll never have to come back to this hell hole again. Done. Finished. You realize that you would rather starve and live out of a box under the freeway. You wonder why it took so long to get here and you drive home in silence, letting the poison that has invaded your brain slowly recede. Like a serious physical injury, you know it will take time to recover fully, but you are on Day 1 and the road is open in front of you. And for the first time in months, or maybe years, you are happy.


Final Stage - Zombie

The undead. Lethargy. Loss of soul. There are many definitions of “zombie”, and they pretty much all apply. Take the money, live in fear, keep your head down, hope to survive without doing much, and don’t give a damn about the outcome. There are many, many Zombies in this place. Anyone that stays longer than 2 years is likely a Zombie or well on their way. They may be talented, organized, and contributing, but when it comes to self determination of cause, they are dead-men (or women) walking. They are those who do not have other options, or do not believe that they have other options - sponsored employees mostly, and those who are comfortable toiling with Stalin prowling the corridors. The undead.

 

You got a little severance? At Spectrum? Lucky you! Most don't.

 

Perfectly said. I wish I knew who you are. How is it you have the exact same perspective and experience as me?

 

Perfect

 

Still loving this! I wish I knew who wrote it.

 

So true