The truth is that this job has literally broken me. I have tried my hardest here and nothing is working. It is a depression that has me experiencing self doubt and I question why I am here. (Not the company but on the planet). I have reached out for help to me peers and I am met with silence. I’ve tried so hard to do well. I wish there were more of a team environment but it’s not.
anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Guest
The truth is that this job has literally broken me. I have tried my hardest here and nothing is working. It is a depression that has me experiencing self doubt and I question why I am here. (Not the company but on the planet). I have reached out for help to me peers and I am met with silence. I’ve tried so hard to do well. I wish there were more of a team environment but it’s not.
Don't let the bastards get you down.
anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Guest
Don't let the bastards get you down.
I have tried not to but honestly it’s overwhelming. I’ve had suicidal thoughts because of this place than I have ever had in my life. My manager thinks I have a negative attitude but I am barely hanging on mentally and it isn’t an attitude problem. It stinks when you have no one at work you can trust to talk to.
anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Guest
I have tried not to but honestly it’s overwhelming. I’ve had suicidal thoughts because of this place than I have ever had in my life. My manager thinks I have a negative attitude but I am barely hanging on mentally and it isn’t an attitude problem. It stinks when you have no one at work you can trust to talk to.
Listen...if this is a serious post....there are people you can reach out to. Reach out to Employee Assistance first. Second, I don't know you, but I know that the world is a smaller place without you in it. Use this board as a default therapy session if you need to. Hang in there and I'll be checking in here to see if you're okay.
anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Guest
The truth is that this job has literally broken me. I have tried my hardest here and nothing is working. It is a depression that has me experiencing self doubt and I question why I am here. (Not the company but on the planet). I have reached out for help to me peers and I am met with silence. I’ve tried so hard to do well. I wish there were more of a team environment but it’s not.
Once you leave BMS the world is a wonderful place. BMS blows.
anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Guest
Listen...if this is a serious post....there are people you can reach out to. Reach out to Employee Assistance first. Second, I don't know you, but I know that the world is a smaller place without you in it. Use this board as a default therapy session if you need to. Hang in there and I'll be checking in here to see if you're okay.
I wish it weren’t serious. I saw the employee assistance but it’s awkward. I would rather be unknown. Honestly I don’t want to quit this job because I haven’t been here that long. Plus I hate failure. If I bring up struggles to my manager I am dismissed. I want to have a positive outlook but I can. Lots of bad things have happened to me in my past so when I am not heard it triggers those feelings. I appreciate you checking in. Honestly I need it.
anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Guest
I have tried not to but honestly it’s overwhelming. I’ve had suicidal thoughts because of this place than I have ever had in my life. My manager thinks I have a negative attitude but I am barely hanging on mentally and it isn’t an attitude problem. It stinks when you have no one at work you can trust to talk to.
This job is not worth your life. I am actively looking to get out of BMS for many of the same reasons. It's important to try and find someone to talk to. Luckily I have a few colleagues to talk with to help keep me sane. You should try the counseling offered by the company, what do you have to lose?
anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Guest
I have tried not to but honestly it’s overwhelming. I’ve had suicidal thoughts because of this place than I have ever had in my life. My manager thinks I have a negative attitude but I am barely hanging on mentally and it isn’t an attitude problem. It stinks when you have no one at work you can trust to talk to.
anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Guest
This job is not worth your life. I am actively looking to get out of BMS for many of the same reasons. It's important to try and find someone to talk to. Luckily I have a few colleagues to talk with to help keep me sane. You should try the counseling offered by the company, what do you have to lose?
The social assistance and counseling is garbage they are untrained and give poor advice. Go find a better personal therapist that supports your needs.
anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Guest
This job is not worth your life. I am actively looking to get out of BMS for many of the same reasons. It's important to try and find someone to talk to. Luckily I have a few colleagues to talk with to help keep me sane. You should try the counseling offered by the company, what do you have to lose?
You are right. It isn’t. I have children to care for. This job has made me feel like a failure. I work out I do activities to occupy my mind but it isn’t enough. I’ve never felt this alone at work in my life.
anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Guest
The social assistance and counseling is garbage they are untrained and give poor advice. Go find a better personal therapist that supports your needs.
I will continue to look. I keep hearing from therapists to work on managing stress and control the controllables. But it isn’t helping. I am not wired to give up at work but for some reason giving up on life seems easier. I wish BMS really understood that a positive culture really is essential at work.
anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Guest
I wish it weren’t serious. I saw the employee assistance but it’s awkward. I would rather be unknown. Honestly I don’t want to quit this job because I haven’t been here that long. Plus I hate failure. If I bring up struggles to my manager I am dismissed. I want to have a positive outlook but I can. Lots of bad things have happened to me in my past so when I am not heard it triggers those feelings. I appreciate you checking in. Honestly I need it.
You're heard now!!! Somehow we've recently gone to manager's who can't coach, motivate, or lead for that matter. Struggles are struggles....and it's how they get addressed that make all the difference in the world. Anything specific when you say struggles...I'm assuming work so access, lack of response from providers, gaps no being addressed? If it's not work related...know that your mental health means more than a scorecard.
anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Guest
Your observation regarding the manner in which challenges are addressed is exactly one of my struggles. When we express our concerns or seek assistance, only to have our correspondences through emails, calls, or texts go unanswered, it engenders a sense of worthlessness. Such disregard can evoke feelings of insignificance, as if one's worth does not warrant a mere 15-second text response.You're heard now!!! Somehow we've recently gone to manager's who can't coach, motivate, or lead for that matter. Struggles are struggles....and it's how they get addressed that make all the difference in the world. Anything specific when you say struggles...I'm assuming work so access, lack of response from providers, gaps no being addressed? If it's not work related...know that your mental health means more than a scorecard.
anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Guest
Maybe the job is not the right fit for you. That is not “failure.” I’m gone from BMS now and happier for it. If the environment and leadership is affecting your mental health, get the hell out. I know that’s easier said than done but your anxiety and depression is clouding your thinking. A company will never love you any longer than it can use you. Your kids need you!!!
anonymous
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anonymous
Guest
What’s sad is that if ghosted the manager, there would be issues. It’s not your insignificance…it’s their ignorance….Your observation regarding the manner in which challenges are addressed is exactly one of my struggles. When we express our concerns or seek assistance, only to have our correspondences through emails, calls, or texts go unanswered, it engenders a sense of worthlessness. Such disregard can evoke feelings of insignificance, as if one's worth does not warrant a mere 15-second text response.
anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Guest
What’s sad is that if ghosted the manager, there would be issues. It’s not your insignificance…it’s their ignorance….
I can’t wrap my head around the culture here. It’s been described as great but I don’t see it. I try to do everything that is asked of me and I still feel like an outcast. I keep telling myself it is not worth my life but I feel so trapped.
anonymous
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anonymous
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Once you leave BMS the world is a wonderful place. BMS blows.
I second that. There are better companies. The people here are full of themselves.
anonymous
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anonymous
Guest
I can’t wrap my head around the culture here. It’s been described as great but I don’t see it. I try to do everything that is asked of me and I still feel like an outcast. I keep telling myself it is not worth my life but I feel so trapped.
Look you've done your job and taken the red face test. That's it. You can look yourself in the mirror and know that you've done all that you've been asked. If you're manager is not cutting it, look for mentorship elsewhere...there are plenty of good people here that would be a great sounding board. Inside every BU there are people who are generally concerned about others and will do all within their power to support and lift you up.
anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Guest
Your job does not define your worth as a human being or who you are. Your job gives you a paycheck every two weeks and yes, it’s good to care about it and want to do your best, but it is NOT worth your well-being or your kids no longer having a parent.
You deserve to be happy and you deserve to exist and the world needs you. Your kids need you.
The way I see it, there are two options. 1) Continue the job for now because it provides for you and your family, gives you flexibility, allows you to do things that are important to you, etc. When you are working, you do the best you can. If people don’t like it or you, they can F off, honestly. I think most people are nice enough and I can work with them. There are few worthy of my inner circle and that is just how life works and I’m okay with it. Some managers have thought I was the greatest thing since sliced bread, others don’t get me. Not much I can do but be myself and show up and try. Put the job in its place. Remember what it can do for you, appreciate that, and try to let the rest go.
2) If this is not working for you and your soul is too unhappy working at BMS, you can ALWAYS reinvent yourself. There are always new things you can do…new companies that may be a better fit, totally different careers, whatever it takes.
I came to BMS at a time when it was a real blessing for me. I really loved it for a while and it was exactly the right time in my life to do it. When I stopped feeling that way, I knew it was time to move on. I found another job that I feel excited about and recently quit. It’s all good. On to the next chapter.
Don’t get it twisted. Your job does not define you. You are worthwhile because of the unique person you are. Say it 92 times a day until it sinks in. Believe me, I know and I’ve had to do it as well! You got this.
You deserve to be happy and you deserve to exist and the world needs you. Your kids need you.
The way I see it, there are two options. 1) Continue the job for now because it provides for you and your family, gives you flexibility, allows you to do things that are important to you, etc. When you are working, you do the best you can. If people don’t like it or you, they can F off, honestly. I think most people are nice enough and I can work with them. There are few worthy of my inner circle and that is just how life works and I’m okay with it. Some managers have thought I was the greatest thing since sliced bread, others don’t get me. Not much I can do but be myself and show up and try. Put the job in its place. Remember what it can do for you, appreciate that, and try to let the rest go.
2) If this is not working for you and your soul is too unhappy working at BMS, you can ALWAYS reinvent yourself. There are always new things you can do…new companies that may be a better fit, totally different careers, whatever it takes.
I came to BMS at a time when it was a real blessing for me. I really loved it for a while and it was exactly the right time in my life to do it. When I stopped feeling that way, I knew it was time to move on. I found another job that I feel excited about and recently quit. It’s all good. On to the next chapter.
Don’t get it twisted. Your job does not define you. You are worthwhile because of the unique person you are. Say it 92 times a day until it sinks in. Believe me, I know and I’ve had to do it as well! You got this.
anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Guest
Your job does not define your worth as a human being or who you are. Your job gives you a paycheck every two weeks and yes, it’s good to care about it and want to do your best, but it is NOT worth your well-being or your kids no longer having a parent.
You deserve to be happy and you deserve to exist and the world needs you. Your kids need you.
The way I see it, there are two options. 1) Continue the job for now because it provides for you and your family, gives you flexibility, allows you to do things that are important to you, etc. When you are working, you do the best you can. If people don’t like it or you, they can F off, honestly. I think most people are nice enough and I can work with them. There are few worthy of my inner circle and that is just how life works and I’m okay with it. Some managers have thought I was the greatest thing since sliced bread, others don’t get me. Not much I can do but be myself and show up and try. Put the job in its place. Remember what it can do for you, appreciate that, and try to let the rest go.
2) If this is not working for you and your soul is too unhappy working at BMS, you can ALWAYS reinvent yourself. There are always new things you can do…new companies that may be a better fit, totally different careers, whatever it takes.
I came to BMS at a time when it was a real blessing for me. I really loved it for a while and it was exactly the right time in my life to do it. When I stopped feeling that way, I knew it was time to move on. I found another job that I feel excited about and recently quit. It’s all good. On to the next chapter.
Don’t get it twisted. Your job does not define you. You are worthwhile because of the unique person you are. Say it 92 times a day until it sinks in. Believe me, I know and I’ve had to do it as well! You got this.
I wish you were on my team.
Being so excluded by management is making my job extremely challenging. Your advice about showing up and giving your best effort is valid, as that is what I strive to do. Each day I try to keep my head above water by reminding myself that I am thankful for this job. Some days are worse than others. Apparently I am not alone in my depression. I have spoken with another rep who seems to have taken a very dark turn since coming to BMS. They have been instructed to do “whatever it takes” to drive the business forward. Their manager seems fun to everyone else but appears to be laying a trap for the rep to be fired. The rep feels like there is a target on their back because they will not bend regarding the illegal things they were instructed to do. It’s amazing how management can make or break you literally.