They asked me about my daily routine since "the call". I told them: "Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late. I use the side door, that way Lumbergh can't see me. Uh, and after that, I just sorta space out for about an hour. I just stare at my desk but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too. I'd probably, say, in a given week, I probably do about fifteen minutes of real, actual work. The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy. It's just that I just don't care. I have eight bosses, bob. So that means when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my real motivation - is not to be hassled. That and the fear of losing my job, but y'know, Bob, it will only make someone work hard enough not to get fired."
But of course, who else? That crew cracks me up, actually believes they were hired for their insight and ability! They are clueless glorified admins who's biggest accomplishment is putting together pretty presentations for Merck sr. leaders.
Home Office employee here. Just heard a rumor (from a very credible source) that they are working on trying to get BCG out. Hopefully it’s sooner then later!
I suggest we either steal their acne medicine, which will send the kids scrambling, or we call their parents to come pick them up, tell them the kids are acting up
We are the consultants hired to direct the next round of layoffs and next years spinoff of primary care, etc. so we are not going anywhere... But you may be! Merck is a bunch of poorly educated, overpaid clowns that hire us to do their dirty work. Well, we actually do all of the work for Fortify and Subsidiary of the Future - which are both ways of framing up the “your no longer employed” messages that are coming soon! If it weren’t for BCG, the whole company would be digging its own grave. We’re here, we’re smarter, we’re younger, we’ll stay as long as we’d like, deal with it!
you kids are entertaining, I will give you that much...thanks for all the laughs and amusement you give those around you at Merck every day...I hope we do let you stay, would be like my favorite sitcom going off the air if we kicked you out...
Better yet, take their phones away, they will be utterly lost without them. Upon finding themselves somewhere in Trenton, they may try to ask for directions from a Pretty Woman but learn there is neither gentle rescue nor welcoming posh hotel affording them a soft landing.
