Major New Investment Program for Merck IT

Are you with us?

  • As long as it replaces COMET, hell yeah!!!

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Ssssh...I'm busy sleeping

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Count me in, my manager has been RETARDED for years

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I don't think it's required; everything about Merck is already retarded

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Will there be a r***** appreciation day?

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Wake me up when it's time for the next round of cuts

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • All the r*****s already report to the CFO

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Other, please see feedback in employee survey

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0
  • Poll closed .

anonymous

Guest
With COMET now confirmed as an extinction level event for Merck it's time for another acronym to rally the troops. Step forward once again Clark, the man of the moment that plans to quietly (read fail to) change the entire industry and most importantly Merck IT by Re-enegising Employees To Achieve Real Discipline through Executive Decision-making ("RETARDED" in short). Merck will focus heavily over coming years to ensure all IT investment is made with a RETARDED mindset as it's basis. Merck IT at the executive & management level has utilized a retarded framework for years but now plans to additionally r***** it's IT operations from the shop floor up, seeking to further outsource to RETARDED partners and shift work to the Centers for RETARDATION being bought online in [Insert this week's cheap labor location]. It is expected all remaining areas of Merck IT across the globe not yet with the program will be fully RETARDED by Q1 2017.
 


With COMET now confirmed as an extinction level event for Merck it's time for another acronym to rally the troops. Step forward once again Clark, the man of the moment that plans to quietly (read fail to) change the entire industry and most importantly Merck IT by Re-enegising Employees To Achieve Real Discipline through Executive Decision-making ("RETARDED" in short). Merck will focus heavily over coming years to ensure all IT investment is made with a RETARDED mindset as it's basis. Merck IT at the executive & management level has utilized a retarded framework for years but now plans to additionally r***** it's IT operations from the shop floor up, seeking to further outsource to RETARDED partners and shift work to the Centers for RETARDATION being bought online in [Insert this week's cheap labor location]. It is expected all remaining areas of Merck IT across the globe not yet with the program will be fully RETARDED by Q1 2017.

Uhhhh....translation please? lol
 





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