Key takeaways from quarterly business review call:
1. "I've never worked for an ESOP company before, so I'm trying to learn about this important part of our business." Translation - With you dumb bastards still hanging out after last year's insulting .25% contribution, we'll feed you another shit sandwich and probably do the same as we continue to buy back stock. For those in the southeast, that was $250 for every $100k in W2 earnings. Thanks.
2. "For those of you listening in from dental, we need good reps on the vet side too" said as a joke followed by a pregnant silence as every dental rep on the call writes down his name and starts looking for job postings online. Vet business continues to grow and make money while dental falls further behind. Rest assured there is a quiet exodus taking place across company lines.
3. I throw up in my mouth every time I hear Pumpkin Head start in with the whole "Pivot back to offense" talk. That mongoloid bully wants to talk about "Selling season" as though it's something he can control and private label and "3D after hours" as real opportunities. Play close attention when he tells you what we're NOT going to do as that is exactly what he plans to do. Prepare to see Patterson branded dental equipment in the future a la Healthco. Rehashing his same clueless drivel over and over. Please put him out of his misery.
4. Officially renamed the CFO position as "Cash Flow Officer" because that's the only metric we have left to celebrate. We've successfully figured out how to hold our supplier's money for longer than it takes us to get paid by our customers.
