To Vag...since you do not judge


Pride in appearance comes from within. You have to care about yourself and have to care about others...period. Any relationship in some facet has to be reciprocal. It would be delusional to say in every facet. I think people who choose not to see the other person's viewpoint or want to appease and satisfy them become complacent, immune or are just plain selfish. That's the part of the equation whose value comes from an 'outside' source in the case of an affair.

Libs - my question to you is, why doesn't she care? She couldn't always have been like this.
 






Vagitarian said:
Kills ya doesn't it? I didn't start the thread and over the 2 years it's been in existence, many people have been able to talk out issues and share good and bad stories regarding their personal experiences. I sometimes think you have the emotional stability of a 10 yr old kid on the playground who's not quite able to enter in discussions without calling others naughty names at some point in the conversation. You've made some intelligen posts, some I agreed with and some not but this is really so childish ILA - really.
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I think you proved my point Vaginitis. You would die if this thread ever got pulled.

Hmmmm. That gives me an idea :rolleyes:
 


Scarlett said:
Pride in appearance comes from within. You have to care about yourself and have to care about others...period. Any relationship in some facet has to be reciprocal. It would be delusional to say in every facet. I think people who choose not to see the other person's viewpoint or want to appease and satisfy them become complacent, immune or are just plain selfish. That's the part of the equation whose value comes from an 'outside' source in the case of an affair.

Libs - my question to you is, why doesn't she care? She couldn't always have been like this.
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To a degree she has. She has been slowly gaining 100 lbs in 9 years of marraige, smokes and drinks more than I thought, (I smoke more than she thought too), and has never shown a great passion for sex, unless she is really drunk. This is why I have my baby. You are 100% correct.
 


Passion for sex or making love never changes. You either love it, are into it...or you aren't. The best is when you have 2 passionate people and after making love, you are just both completely satisfied - and wiped. Of course, after having a drink or 2...yes, it can be crazy! lol
 


GorgeousGAMS said:
I know and frankly, I'm jealous of you and of Vag who is single and self-supporting, enough to retire and getting to play the field and enjoy his friends. I am screwed all the way around. You know my story and how alike we are. I WOULD pay money to have what you do, to have somebody actually make passionate love to me. But I don't even have the money. LOL. Instead, I have the flu, a job I really don't like and a heavy class schedule. Mr. Gams is pissed because he did not get his "weekly S&M session" and I am just drained and always feeling put out. He is so overweight it is totally disgusting and he truly does not care at all about his appearance. I also pay most of the bills and do all the shopping and cooking, only I don't drink a million cans of pop and eat garbage he buys at Walmart. Plus, I workout to try and stay in shape. He languishes on the couch 24/7 getting up to breathlessly go to the basement for 15 minutes in a totally lame effort to

finish it. He accuses me of doing nothing because I'm on the computer all the
time. . . well, duh! I have to support us and am going to grad school 25 hours
a week. WTF? Such is life. The word STUCK comes to mind. I pray for time to
grant me something wonderful, something meaningful while I work to create
just that. He has my health insurance as my insurer won't pay for my
condition. If things were only different, maybe I would have the guts DD has
and start again. . . but it is not possible. S T U C K ! !
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Maybe things would be better for you if you didn't act like such a victim. If you are so freaking unhappy, then get up off your ass and do something about it. Why do you think living in a trailer would br such a bad thing? Figure out what makes you happy and go fucking do it. Stop whining and make it happen for yourself. This may sound harsh, but you sound pathetic and as if you are only waiting for death.

Is my marriage great? I think si. Have we had our ups and downs? Yep, but we always loved each other and wanted to make it work.

Tis board is full of narcissists worrying more about what they don't have instead of being happy with what they do have. Get a grip.
 


Story....way back I remember having a couple of drinks and this guy I started seeing and I were making out. It got so hot & heavy, that I blurted out..."I just want to f_ _ _ you".

Well, since I usually look and act like a lady, I think I fell off the pedestal he put me on. He was taken back by the verbiage.
 


Scarlett is correct again. Mr. Gams does not really care that much for other people, has few friends and never speaks to his mother or father. I think you are right the amount of care and time you put out towards others is also reflective of the amount of care a person will put towards their own life. He was always a tad overweight but active and busy most of the time. He was never self-motivated and I wish that had been something I'd known before we got together. He talked a good game. So, now he has no motivation unless I'm leading the way which obviously I don't have time to do. Just tonight, I asked him why he could not use some moisturizer (his skin is like scales) and his answer was only if I put it on him. Same with exercise and anything else healthy, no follow through. We go out and I order healthy, he orders fries and a jumbo burger. He can no longer lay flat and breathe! I have sat and watched him drink four giant glasses of regular pop in one meal. It's gross.

That's a great idea ILA. I would love to. Now tell me how I'm going to get health insurance or sell a house that isn't finished and juggle all of that. You don't think I've tried to find a different job and insurance? Come on. What the fuck do you think I'm in school for? Number one, I might complain but am no victim and number two, I am doing something about it.
 
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GG...all other things aside.... If you ever get to the point of being totally disgusted, distraught and full of hate towards him - get out. Why? It will cause you to deteriorate as a person. No one should have to prop or hold the oether person up. You're a mover and shaker and have a lot of things going on. He has to do his share as well.
 






Scarlett said:
GG - you have a few issues going on. An affair would not solve it or them...but the intensity and excitement of one sure as hell makes the other stuff trivial. Look at how Libs looks forward to being with his honey. The surge of energy gives you a kick in your step.

If someone has never known what that kind of high is like, then they shouldn't knock others for what they do. The great sex Libs and Vag talk about is necessary...the kind that is slow, sensual, exciting, breath-taking - and that you can't get enough of. Who would say no to that? Better yet, who has that EVERYDAY with the spouse???
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It's hard to fathom how incredibly immature and unrealistic you are. No one has that EVERYDAY with ANYBODY. Grow up and get real.

But if you want to experience great sexual satisfaction as much as possible do you know what you need to do? You need to become a Christian and get or stay married. That's not just what I believe or something I've made up, that's what the social science data says. Life is no bed of roses for anyone and boredom can set into any relationship, but the cheap, short-lived high of the new sexual partner is not the way to long term happiness.

Ever listen to love songs? Do you think that a bunch of fundamentalist pastors sit around and write that stuff? Do you? Hardly, right? But guess what the same stuff that they would write into love songs is in love songs. Devotion, undying love, exclusivity, pledges of fidelity etc. etc. So even if you take religion out of the equation, that seems to be the greatest desire of the human heart. If that's the case then it would make sense to follow that road and make decisions that contribute as much as possible to making those things a reality. Is it going to happen for everybody? No, unfortunately not. Life is hard and for some people it's very hard. But that still doesn't give one a free pass to cheat on one's spouse.

Some of you people will probably never believe me, but the facts, to the extent they can be known are on my side. The answer really is Christianity. My heart goes out to Libs and to GG. They are horribly mistreated by their spouses. It's an absolute shame and if their spouses were trying to live as a Christian spouse then they would be trying to do what they could within reason to please Libs and GG, sexually as well as every other way. That's what makes the Christian concept of marriage so great.
 


Man For All Seasons said:
It's hard to fathom how incredibly immature and unrealistic you are. No one has that EVERYDAY with ANYBODY. Grow up and get real.

But if you want to experience great sexual satisfaction as much as possible do you know what you need to do? You need to become a Christian and get or stay married. That's not just what I believe or something I've made up, that's what the social science data says. Life is no bed of roses for anyone and boredom can set into any relationship, but the cheap, short-lived high of the new sexual partner is not the way to long term happiness.

Ever listen to love songs? Do you think that a bunch of fundamentalist pastors sit around and write that stuff? Do you? Hardly, right? But guess what the same stuff that they would write into love songs is in love songs. Devotion, undying love, exclusivity, pledges of fidelity etc. etc. So even if you take religion out of the equation, that seems to be the greatest desire of the human heart. If that's the case then it would make sense to follow that road and make decisions that contribute as much as possible to making those things a reality. Is it going to happen for everybody? No, unfortunately not. Life is hard and for some people it's very hard. But that still doesn't give one a free pass to cheat on one's spouse.

Some of you people will probably never believe me, but the facts, to the extent they can be known are on my side. The answer really is Christianity. My heart goes out to Libs and to GG. They are horribly mistreated by their spouses. It's an absolute shame and if their spouses were trying to live as a Christian spouse then they would be trying to do what they could within reason to please Libs and GG, sexually as well as every other way. That's what makes the Christian concept of marriage so great.
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Funny how most of the people who write and sing these songs of un-dying love, have all been married 3-4, many with no relationship with their children. Greg Allman has sung some sweet love songs like "Melissa" but he was a total piece of shit as a father. If you have hot Christian manogamy, good for you. Most of us aren't so lucky. Christ has never tapped me on the shoulder, and I doubt that he/she/it ever will. If it happens I will let you know. However, I am in this life only, so I am going to have some fun.
 


MFAS...true not everyday. People who have affairs get it for the time or moment. It does not LAST. I am not being unreal but speaking to what an affair does. Stop spouting the Christian bullshit. I went to Catholic School through grad school and had enough. I'm a damn giving and kind person and that's what counts. How dare you condemn me and others here. Real Christian-like isn't it honey?
 


GorgeousGAMS said:
Scarlett is correct again. Mr. Gams does not really care that much for other people, has few friends and never speaks to his mother or father. I think you are right the amount of care and time you put out towards others is also reflective of the amount of care a person will put towards their own life. He was always a tad overweight but active and busy most of the time. He was never self-motivated and I wish that had been something I'd known before we got together. He talked a good game. So, now he has no motivation unless I'm leading the way which obviously I don't have time to do. Just tonight, I asked him why he could not use some moisturizer (his skin is like scales) and his answer was only if I put it on him. Same with exercise and anything else healthy, no follow through. We go out and I order healthy, he orders fries and a jumbo burger. He can no longer lay flat and breathe! I have sat and watched him drink four giant glasses of regular pop in one meal. It's gross.

That's a great idea ILA. I would love to. Now tell me how I'm going to get health insurance or sell a house that isn't finished and juggle all of that. You don't think I've tried to find a different job and insurance? Come on. What the fuck do you think I'm in school for? Number one, I might complain but am no victim and number two, I am doing something about it.
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Sounds lke you have a basic plan already. Finish the Master's, finish the house. Find that new job with good health insurance, then tell the couch potato you are moving up: he can either stay and wallow in his depression or get his act together and move up with you!
 


Walking Eagle said:
Sounds lke you have a basic plan already. Finish the Master's, finish the house. Find that new job with good health insurance, then tell the couch potato you are moving up: he can either stay and wallow in his depression or get his act together and move up with you!
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Well, that's damn straight. I am getting impatient.
 




I Love America said:
Maybe things would be better for you if you didn't act like such a victim. If you are so freaking unhappy, then get up off your ass and do something about it. Why do you think living in a trailer would br such a bad thing? Figure out what makes you happy and go fucking do it. Stop whining and make it happen for yourself. This may sound harsh, but you sound pathetic and as if you are only waiting for death.

Is my marriage great? I think si. Have we had our ups and downs? Yep, but we always loved each other and wanted to make it work.

Tis board is full of narcissists worrying more about what they don't have instead of being happy with what they do have. Get a grip.
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Tis board is full of narcissists worrying more about what they don't have instead of being happy with what they do have. Get a grip.

Yep, so full of whining narcissists that you're compelled to visit every day and call childish names................ :cool:
 




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