Contest (I'm not refering to the one on Seinfield)






Sung to the tune of the Dukes of Hazzard theme song

Just good ole reps
Out there workin' so hard
Fightin' 'gainst no formulary since the day they were hired

Sellin' LA
T for cash pay
Someday it might be better for for now just do what we say.

Earning their pay
The only way they know how
Then Dougie says "Hey, it's ok, we don't need nunya nohow"

Just good ole reps
Would've changed what they could
Fighting for each script just like they told 'em they should.
 






Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

Sung to Knocking on Heaven's Door,

Doug, take these samples away from me,
I won't need them any more.
That cold black layoff is coming down,
Feel like Knocking on a recruiters door.

Doug, wipe away the memory of this job,
Your management by Sybil never worked.
Alot of good people will be gone,
Knocking on a recruiter's door.

Doug, put my Biovail carrer in the ground,
I won't work here anymore.
That severence pay won't go far,
Feel like knocking on a recruiter's door.

Hey, Hey, Hey, Ya.

Not up to the par of the Yesterday writer, but not bad if I don't say so myself.
grin.gif
 


Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

SUNG TO "WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

BIOVAIL WILL DROP YOU....
BIOVAIL WILL DROP YOU.

Biovail is hurt gotta make a change,
gonna lay-off some reps or end the game.
We've got mudd on our face, A big disgrace..
Hasn't been this bad since that stupid ass "P.L.A.C.E" and
BIOVAIL WILL DROP YOU!
 


Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

Man, that knocking of heaven's door was legit! Man, we are some creative MOFOs! Here is one, sung to Johnny Cash's, Burning Ring of Fire!

We are going down down down,
We all are going to get fired!
And we will learn learn learn,
How to be a new hire,
And we wont wont meet,
Dougie Squires, Dougie Squires!!!!
 


Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

Sung to, Olvia Newton John's "Lets get Physcial"

Update your Res-u-me
Your res-u-me
Update your resume
Update your resume
Let me hear your work experience
Thats right, let me hear your work experience
Do you have 3 references, references
Huh, do you have 3 references!
Fuck, I can't put my DM as one!!!
That really sucks, yeah, that reall sucks
 


Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

The hell with updating my rersume. I am now a recording studio / song writing talent scout. Two of you are HIRED already! Olivia Newton John writer we need to talk more. We
all will make more cash in this industry than we did with Biovail. You see,good things do come from down sizeing!
 


Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

What talent! What do you call yourselves? I need a little name and mental picture? Male or Female? I'm taking a break from the job search. Loved the J. Cash.
 


Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

Okay, after writing the B. Hillbillies and Yesterday parodies, I thought I would try one more. This is for my new "gossip friend." You know who you are.
smirk.gif
Enjoy

Sung to "Margaritaville" by Jimmy Buffet

They’re nibblin' on sponge cake
When they walk it’s an earthquake
Officeworkers breath smells like vegetable oil
Eating them shoestrings
Or a pile of chicken wings
They smell those shrimp they're stomach’s starting to boil

Chorus:
Wastin' away again in doctor-officeville
They’re searching for that lost shaker of salt
They all claim that genetics is to blame for their weight gain
But I know it's that chocolate malt

I don't know the reason
I worked this office all season
Nothin' to show but this Teveten study
But it's a real winner
We’ll talk about it at dinner
Why it was on rats I haven't a clue

Chorus:
Wastin' away again in doctor-officeville
They’re searching for that lost shaker of salt
They all claim that genetics is to blame for their weight gain
But I know it's that chocolate malt

I took out my detail piece
While they sucked down some more grease
Cut to the chase and talked about heart disease
But no one was listening
And onion rings were glistening
Then one of them complained cause I’d forgot to bring cheese

Wastin' away again in doctor-officeville
They’re searching for that lost shaker of salt
They all claim that genetics is to blame for their weight gain
But I know it's that chocolate malt
Yes, they all claim that genetics is to blame for their weight gain
Oh my mistake, they wanted strawberry malts
 


Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

sung to 50 cents "in da club"

go go go go go
go bye bye
it's your last day
we gonna party like its your last day
we gonna sip bacardi likes its your last day

and you know biovail don't give a f!@k cuz it's your last day

you can find me at the pub, bottle full of bubb
don't got what I need since biovail just gave me the rub
I just got the ax, so now I'm in to takin' drugs
so come give me some love, if you're wherin purple scrubs

When I pull out up front see the jeep on dubs
When I roll a bonus 20 deep the incentive comp bumps up
Reps heard I pimped the doc so now they wanna show me luv
When you sound like a robot you know docs don't wanna f@#
But homie, ain't nothin new, biovails holding me down, but my G's still up
I see the reps in the east cut and roll that weed up
If you watch how I sell, you might mistake me for a playa pimp
been hit on by a few docs but I don't misrepresent
At the docs office always getting asked what happend to biovails shares?
I don't know doc, I just don't beni-care cuz..

you can find me at the pub....
 






Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

[ QUOTE ]
Okay, after writing the B. Hillbillies and Yesterday parodies, I thought I would try one more. This is for my new "gossip friend." You know who you are.
smirk.gif
Enjoy

Sung to "Margaritaville" by Jimmy Buffet

They’re nibblin' on sponge cake
When they walk it’s an earthquake
Officeworkers breath smells like vegetable oil
Eating them shoestrings
Or a pile of chicken wings
They smell those shrimp they're stomach’s starting to boil

Chorus:
Wastin' away again in doctor-officeville
They’re searching for that lost shaker of salt
They all claim that genetics is to blame for their weight gain
But I know it's that chocolate malt

I don't know the reason
I worked this office all season
Nothin' to show but this Teveten study
But it's a real winner
We’ll talk about it at dinner
Why it was on rats I haven't a clue

Chorus:
Wastin' away again in doctor-officeville
They’re searching for that lost shaker of salt
They all claim that genetics is to blame for their weight gain
But I know it's that chocolate malt

I took out my detail piece
While they sucked down some more grease
Cut to the chase and talked about heart disease
But no one was listening
And onion rings were glistening
Then one of them complained cause I’d forgot to bring cheese

Wastin' away again in doctor-officeville
They’re searching for that lost shaker of salt
They all claim that genetics is to blame for their weight gain
But I know it's that chocolate malt
Yes, they all claim that genetics is to blame for their weight gain
Oh my mistake, they wanted strawberry malts

[/ QUOTE ]

Jimmy Buffet songs always make me horny. But Jimmy Buffet singing about the Pharmaceutical Indusrty makes me orgasm. Sweet!
 






Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

This one is to Pure Prarie League- Amie, not as good as my Heaven's Door, but still not bad

I can see why you need to lie to me
I never tried to think
Or tried to see the anything for myself
But now your lay-offs are coming and I'm alone
You see, I out in the job market on my own

Dougie, what you gonna do?
I think I wait on that severance from you
For a while, but no longer than I have to

Don't you think the time is right for us to find
All the employment opportunities could be right in time?
And can you see
Which way we should turn together or alone?
Scott can never see whats right or what is wrong
(Will it take to long to see?)

Dougie, what you gonna do?
I think I wait on that severance from you
For a while, but no longer than I have to


Well now
Dougie, what you wanna do?

Now it's come to what you want, you've had your way
And all the things you thought before just faded into gray
And can you see
That I know it's you and not me?
If it's one of us I'm sure we'll both will see
(Won't you look at me and tell me?)
Dougie, what you gonna do?
I think I wait on that severance from you
For a while, but no longer than I have to

The SEC keeps fallin' in and out of love with you
Fallin' in and out of love with you
Don't know what I'm gonna do
Hope there is enough money for the severence for me and you.
 


Re: Contest (I\'m not refering to the one on Seinfield)

This one is to Paul Simon's Kodachrome:

If you took all the drugs I sold while I was at Biovail
And put 'em all together in one bin
You'd see why doctors didn't want to write them often
And that is why we're in the mess we're in...

Chorus:
Biovaillll....they gave us no managed care
Gave us no formulary
Makes you feel everyone can outsell you....ooo,
We got jobs for a few days
I'd love to know what's goin' on
Oh Dougie don't take my pharma job away.

Now there are rumours flyin' all around the internet
That they'll be a big layoff real soon
Ricky and Scott have never told us to much anyway
Won't be dancin' much longer to this tune.

Chorus.
 



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